Hail Fuhrer

After all the small little chats that happened in the comments page in my previous post, titled "where do we go?", I have decided to tone my humble little blog down a little bit and only talk about politics when I feel like it. Only talk about it when I have that 2 tonned rock of dissatisfaction sitting on my chest. Only talk about it when I feel that we are living in a country run by crooks and motherfucking apes. Only talk about it after the Government said something stupid or have done something which leaves me in complete awe but alas, I am a busy little boy who has to earn his salary and so I can't blog every 2 seconds. Towards the end of the year, I have just completed my 2008 ad placements and so I can breathe a little easier now. Christmas is coming so that's good news. 16th is coming as well so please remember to stay at home and watch some DVDs as it is not smart to go out. You do not want to go out and face the wrath of parang wielding unhappy people. What is this country turning to? I have no idea.

On a happier note, I am happy to say that our government are very pro-active in keeping the peace in our country as we celebrate our multi-racial, multi-ethnic, multi-religion and multi-colour relationship with each other. We celebrate the fact that we live in perfect peace and harmony where you see our members of parliament behaving so cultured and civilised. The latest effort by our member of parliament to tighten the bonds of brotherhood between us is to suggest that the crosses and statues depicting the Christian faith be taken down from those mission schools. That guy was someone called Syed 'Robin' Hood, who said that the statues should be torn down, the crosses be destroyed and the teachings of christianity to be stopped. Well, what can you say to someone who is so patriotic to his land, the saviour of Malaysia's identity as an islamic country.
What the fuck were those mission school thinking? Just because they were erected way before Malaysia was even formed makes it ok for them to have crosses and statues of Mary? That is pure absurdity. THIS IS MALAYSIA and we should all, including schools, offices, parks, zoos, public toilets and everything that is within the Malaysian border adhere to Malaysian cultures and beliefs. Who the fuck cares if those schools are built so long ago? Fuck that. Why only take down the crosses and the statues. I suggest that we fucking burn the whole motherfucking school down. This is not the time to discuss about the school being historical or carries sentimental values. This is not the time to say that Najib, Hishamuddin, some Raja Muda from somewhere studied in mission schools before. BURN THEM DOWN.

I like the way that some people in the Barisan party are so strong in getting their messages across. One of my all time favourite would be from Nazri when he told the motherfucking protesters not to fucking challenge the god-loving and loved by god government. He also said that the next time a protest is conducted, those motherfucking protesters will get to see what happens. Why change? Aren't we so well off now. I'm Lovin' It.

And those fucking Americans. Who the fuck are they to ask the government to permit the "peaceful" rally. Fuck them man. Who the fuck do they think they are? Some big ass country or something. I have never even heard of them before. All I know is that they created curry. Fuck them. Meddle with our country's affair? Wait until Nazri show you what will happen. We are gonna send our Mat Cemerlangs, Angkasawan and ahli silat there to destroy you, having them in our country's Proton Juara. That will teach you guys to interfere.

Do not ever insult the government, saying that they are liars anymore. I have had enough. When the government said that they did not use tear gas and water cannons on the protestors in Batu Cave, then we should believe them. THOSE PICTURES ARE DOCTORED CAN'T YOU SEE. There is a big conspiracy to topple our peace loving government and country.

WOOHOO.... weekend is here. Let's drink and celebrate our happiness and content towards our kerajaan.

Where do we go?

Dear all,

I know that it's always a very tough thing to talk about when it comes to politics and the inequality that we have been accustomed to for the past so many years. I do not whine about privileges that are blessed upon some people just as I do not bite the sour grape looking at those born with a silver spoon. I just believe that we should all have a fighting chance, a fair fighting chance, a chance for us to make this country, this economy even more competitive, make it even more prosperous but with limitations and endless hurdles, is it still achievable? Yes, but it takes a much longer time. I can assure you that I am not a saint and I am speaking partly from my selfish point of view as I know that there are things that if I wish to do, I may not be able to do so with ease just because I am not one of those privileged. I may have somehow, in previous posts, appeared as someone who do not feel content with the government and I do not deny it, all I am asking for is for them to realise that they are who they are only because we allow them to be.

In my previous post, someone left a comment, asking me a question which I feel has no definite answer.

Friend said...

I'd like to know, how do we change? Where do we start?

I'm not disagreeing but i'd like to know your honest opinion on what we should and should not do!

That aside, why is there so much swearing in your entry? I know you're really pissed, but i really hope you'd decrease th7e amount of swearing.

By the way, i like the entry. I really do!

What can we do? Where do we start? I believe that we should make changes gradually. The government has applied a tactic which was used by ancient Chinese general where easily explained, means 'Kill one, warn hundreds'. Some bloggers who, much like me, see injustice in our system, chose to voice out and what they got was lawsuits. Do not get me wrong, I am afraid like many. I am afraid that I will be nailed somehow, under what charges I do not know and thus is why I do not state anything which bends away from the facts and merely speak my mind, believing that I still have the rights to.

How do we make a change? We start with our rights. Our rights to vote. Who we vote for is completely up to us but we have to remember that whoever sits high up there on the comfy cabinet stool is determined by us. They who feel that they are so powerful that they get to overpower the people who gave them the chance to lead, should realise that the stool does not belong to them, and they may not have the chance to have their asses on the soft leather cushion anymore. WE are the one who determines who gets to make decisions on our behalf. WE are the one who determines who governs us. WE are the people whose voice should be heard. WE practice our rights to elect the candidate whom we feel will protect us. WE choose those who gives a damn. WE decide who gets their payroll from our hard earned money. Nothing was equal since the beginning and I am not complaining and whining like a bitch about that now, this is inevitable and this has been the way for a long time and it may be the reason why we have not ended up like Indonesia. It's very much like how we will not be seeing a Chinese Prime Minister. Somethings are just meant to be and we will just have to live with it.
But I am sick and tired of being threatened. Sick and tired of how low-lifes had been glamorised just to pull in that extra votes. Yes, I am talking about our Mat Cemerlangs.

Things do not have to end like this. There are things that we can do and there are messages which we can send. I am not saying that there should be a rally or there should be any protests. It really does cause too much inconvenience to the public but our government could help much earlier but they chose not to. Why fire water cannons and use tear gasses when they could just monitor the rally peacefully to the palace and then let them disperse? Why instill fear in the people who are fighting for what they believe in. What are they even afraid of?

I watched Lions for Lambs earlier on and it was a great movie. It merely states that there are people up there who lie. There are people who fight and die for the chance to make a change. There are people who, very much like me, have almost given up in believing just because we feel that we are only one person. What can one person do?

I now know a glinter of the answer, we start by changing our mentality. Only by that, only by seeing the bigger picture will we be able to make a change. We just have to realise. Realise that the power is in our hands. Realise that we do not have to be afraid of the people whom we place up there because it is through our hands that we can push them back down.

Time for a Change

When you see people rallying and gathering, hoping for a fair election, when someone like me who does not give two fucks about politics feel so agitated with our current administration and for opposition leaders to have to send a memorandum to our King, pleading for a fair electoral outcome, you know that there is something wrong. Everyone knows that there is something wrong. You do and I do too. Do not misunderstand, I am on no particular side nor do I favour any opposition parties but one thing for sure, the time has come for a change.

We, as the sons and daughters of this country have lost our most basic rights. We have lost our rights to speak, to write and to express our feeling towards our country. The government's job is to protect us. They are voted into the parliament to serve the people of their country and not fucking instill fear in them. What have we become? What have our country become? To say that I am displeased is an understatement. What the hell is the government doing? How many cases of corruption has emerged in the papers since our current PM got his ass on the big and mighty chair in the fucking parliament? How many cases of discrimination were reported in the papers? Remember that guy who lifted the keris and shouted something about ketuanan melayu? He did it again this time, saying that the keris was meant to protect. Bollocks. Fucking Bollocks.

No one in the government is above the law but apparently, that is not the fucking case ain't it? I have not been brain washed or fucking pulled over to the "dark side" but it is just that I have been constantly mind-fucked by the government of this country. Our ministers are brave. They dare do anything because they know that they will get away with it. Everything that happened, that was reported, will be published, and then dragged on and on, and then forgotten. Remember Rafidah and the AP issue? That is one of the example.

I am not asking for anything but merely expressing my disappointment in this country that I once loved. I read in the papers yesterday about this chinese boy from this chinese school who wrote a piece of composition and submitted it in as an entry in the Commonwealth Essay competition and he won. He spoke much about unity and his love for this country. He is still young. He is still naive. He is surrounded by his multi-racial friends and may not have seen the ugly side of racism on a much larger scale. He did not see how his country is corrupted and how his fellow country-mates are feeling. He did not know that when he tries to apply for a place in the local universities, he will be facing many problems and would most likely have a hard time to get a scholarship should he ever needs one. He may also not realise that he may not be able to take the subject that he wishes to take because local universities must have a certain amount of bumiputra doctors, engineers, accountants, so on and so fucking forth. That little chinese kid is still young and he should enjoy his childhood and live in his fucking fantasy before he grows up to realise what kind of shithole his fucking paradise really is.

We talk about transparency, the government talks about transparency. It is about as transparent as my scrotum. I do not encourage protests or illegal gathering but I wish that somehow, somehow the government, those so called "leaders" sitting in the government, living in their fucking big houses, would come to realise that they are fucking no-one without the people of their country. They are mortals. They are mortals whom I do not look up to but instead despise. They made me hate this land. They made me not love my country. THEY FUCKING MADE ME UNPATRIOTIC. We should stand up and let them know that as we can place them way up there, we can fucking bring them down. Do not allow them to take their priviliges granted by us for granted. They are elected to serve. They are elected to maintain stability. They are elected to make our country grow. They are not elected to make us fear them. Police forces are the same. We fucking pay their wages. We are the bosses. We go to them for protection. Do not act so high and mighty, Because eventhough you are holding a gun, the gun belongs to us. The country belongs to all. Not just you. By you, I mean you fucking thieves and robbers. You who stole our freedom. After 50 years, we are more trapped than before.

It's about time they learn who they serve. It's about time for a change.

Happy Birthday Malaysia

50 years has passed since our first Prime Minister lifted his hand and shouted Merdeka. It was then said that we will no longer be segregated according to race, religion or skin colour and that we shall all, from then on, live as the sons and daughters of Malaysia. One nation, one race.

Malaysia has grown so much since the days of padi fields and rubber plantations, trishaws and run down buildings. I am proud that Malaysia has achieved what it has achieved today and to see our skyscrapers, our magnificent airport, it makes me feel like I am blessed to be in this country. Sadly, beauty is only skin deep. In the better sense of words, the buildings and infrastructures that glorifies our country are just the mere carpet that is covering all the rubbish underneath. We have so many social ills that plagues our country and the people. We have a government that makes people afraid of them. We live in a country where freedom of speech is not condoned by people "up there". Do not misunderstand me, we can say things about our leaders and our country and we can talk about the ministries and people in the cabinet. We can hurl comments towards the people from the federal government and raise our opinions about them. Why is it then, you ask me, that you say that we have no freedom of speech? I am referring to a wider scope which includes freedom of press, publications and so on and so forth. All things can be said as long as they are not detrimental to the government or the image that they are trying to portray. They accept the showers of praises and apple polishing but they will not accept criticism. I will not talk more in regards to this as it may land me in hot water and all. I just hope that what was originally planned might materialise in the near future. That about equality, that about unity, that notion about one race, one nation. We do not need anymore of those people who wave their 'keris' about to be placed above us. The government was chose to govern, to lead, not to fucking command us and fucking instill fear in us. How can the government threaten its people? Happy 50th Merdeka.... really?

I may be displeased with the current administration but there is always a silver lining. All in all, there is this one guy that I wish to thank that made us better than what the current administration could ever have made us become.

Thank you and Happy Merdeka.

I want WORLD PEACE

I know I have not been updating my blog and I have a fucking valid reason for it. Well, make it a few reasons.
First off, I am waiting for the event photos that I did with Newman magazine to come in where I shared a few moments of stage time with the very-exposed friend of ours, Wern Shen. During that event... bahh I will talk about it in the next post when the photos are in.
Secondly, I have been a little lazy. Well, ok, a lot lazy but what can you do?
Thirdly, nothing really happy happened to me lately and even if I do post, it will be all sappy and will draw attacks and firing from my dear Mr. or Miss Anonymous. Hahaha that mother fucker is just fucking darn entertaining.

There is nothing much that I am looking forward to except for the release of Transformers, Simpsons the movie, Harry Porter and dinner with those wankers from high school this Saturday. I have dyed my hair red if that's anything worth mentioning about. I did that out of spite. No, I did that out of impulse and it's kinda good. I like it and I will not fucking tolerate any negative comments given by any-fucking-one about it because I will be damn fucking pissed off and dye their hair plus eye-brows red just so I can vent my anger that has been building up in me on them. This of course does not apply to the Anonymous because I do not know who he or she is since he or she prefers to hide behind the curtain of being an asshole... I mean shadow.

Anyways, I would like to thank everyone who told me that they would come and actually made it there for the event. It means a lot to me although many came late and missed my time on stage where I threw undies out to people with their arms wide open. I felt like Robin Hood, giving neccessities to the needy. As I said, more on the event later.

My whole office is under renovation and the air-conditioning is out so please forgive me for my outburst of vulgarities. To you guys who will be there this Saturday, I will see you then. Now for the finale, my final outburst for this post..... AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *cough* HHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... oh well.... until the next time dear brethrens and sisters, boys and girls and that one anonymous who could very well be something in between, take care of yourselves and of course, be happy and let us all pray for world peace... and the assasination of some worthless leaders. WORLD PEACE MOTHERFUCKERS. Ciao.

Smoking a dead dog's vomit...

Good morning dearest family members, friends, people who pretend to be friends and also my dearest nemesis, foes and enemies. I have a story to share. (Do not worry, it is nothing like what the title of the post suggests).
A story that started on a morning with clouds of dark threatening the day with rain and thunder. Monday morning has always been the source of despair for many as they dread to work after the weekend. Many people on the other hand long for Mondays as their workplace is the place where they will actually get to feel alive, feel that their productivity brings meaning to their existence and this happens to those who does not have a social life. I have drifted off and I apologise. Let the story begin shall we...

After finishing off his cup of coffee, Charles and his parents went to their respective cars; Charles into his Smart for Two and parents into dad's. Charles finally got the hang of the miniature machine that he has been driving around for sometime now and with the level of comfort that he shares with the car, he controls the semi-automatic transmission car pretty well. Worse than monday blues are monday greys. The cloud hovering above Charles as he peered through the sun roof was thick and does not at all look friendly. It was a dark beginning to a whole new week. Charles has always tried to be an optimist but this surely dampens his spirits but he knows that with the remaining days to come before Friday says 'hello' again, he has got to stay strong. The traffic, as usual was a drag. He wound down his window, lighted a Marlboro Light and took a long drag. Up until now, he still does not know what's the great thing about smoking a cigarette but he finds it hard to quit. No, he finds it impossible to quit. He took another drag and inched his little car forward. The radio was turned up to drown the noise of the traffic but to no avail. He gives up, lean back and closes his eyes for a little while, expecting the cars in front not to move for another ten seconds or so. He soon reaches the roundabout after ten minutes, a trip that will ususally take ten seconds when there is no traffic. Halfway to his workplace, Charles noticed something rather disturbing, there was a blood trail on the road and he knows what it was: road kill. He immediately wound up his window and he noticed the lime green Hyundai Matrix in front of him, hands out, window down, cigarette in hand. Charles wonder how he could stand the smell and and inching forward, he saw it. The animal was unrecognisable with it's entrails all out as if it was giving a free biology exhibition. Judging by the size of it, Charles came to a conclusion that it was a dog, or one big wicked cat but he stuck to believing that it was a dog. Charles looked in front and saw the driver of the Hyundai jerked and somehow struggling in his car. It was getting exciting and Charles decided not to follow too closely, but close enough to get a clear view of what was happening. The car in front of Charles stopped completely and Charles did the same and finally, after sometime of 'jumping' in the car, the man in the Hyundai picked up a still lighted cigarette and threw it out the window. Charles laughed so hard at the sight of what happened and thinking about it made his day brighter. Thinking about others' despair will make you feel more fortunate. Hyundai man apparently dropped his cigarette on his seat and it rolled and burned and caused some pain to him but what happened next could never in a million years be forgotten. The image haunts Charles even until now and makes him feel sick. After throwing the cigarette out, the man noticed that he was right on top of the road kill, poor fucking dog. He did what all manly man would do, he struggled somemore, looking left and right and as if in a trance and asking for help, he seemed very agitated. Through the wound down window, Charles saw a stream of what seems to be vomit being projected out the Hyundai and barely missing the car next to it. He did that a few more times the cars to his right all moved further to avoid getting a free vomit car wash. Charles was not in a hurry and did not bother to change lanes but instead, he sat patiently and watched the man show how much more he could spew out from his throat. Hyundai man finally made a smart decision and moved further up so that his tyres would not be on top of the dog's head and stopped once more before emptying his stomach. Charles, in a funny way, felt satisfied that there was someone having a worse day than him. He feels so much more positive now and it is now that he found his spirit once more to battle through the week.

So now my dearest friends, when you find yourself in a bad mood or in a grave situation, think of those less fortunate and you will then feel better about yourself. Try it, you'll love it.
I need to go and take a dump now and this is just a 'btw-by the way' news, I read somewhere that our Prime Minister Mr. Abdullah BADawi apparently got a yatch or boat or sam-pan which costs approximately USD 8 million? Hmmm. I love my country.

Bush don't know so many things... it's a fake!

I received this from some whom I cannot remember who and for that I am sorry. Sincerely sorry. I cannot give due credits to the person who sent me this piece and so credits to everyone who reads my blog and bothers even a little bit about my life... or what is left of it. I have had this in my draft for the longest time and I just found it again and so here it is.




In November 2006, President George W Bush is visiting several Asian countries including Indonesia and Singapore.

Bush: Well Condi, is there anything you need from Singapore that I can pick up for you while I am there next month?
Rice: That's very kind of you, Mr President, but no, there's really nothing I need right now from there. But Laura will certainly enjoy the shopping there, sir.

Bush: Ah yes, she's been talking about it. Lee's wife has promised to take her shopping at the newly opened Vivocity.
Rice: I'm sure she'll enjoy a trip to Sentosa too. Especially now that the haze from Indonesia has more or less lifted. Talking of which, you're going to Indonesia too, aren't you sir?

Bush: Yes I am, and while I'm with Susilo Bambang, Laura will visit Acheh and give away a cheque to the tsunami victims.

Rice: How sweet. Would you be dropping by Malai Shia, sir?
Bush: Naw, giving them a miss.
Rice: Don't blame you sir, they have some rough motor cyclists there.
Called themselves "Mad Ram Piss" or something.
They think they're the Asian equivalent of our Knievel. They would certainly scare Laura to death.
Bush: Nah, Laura is made of sterner stuff. But that's not the reason why we're not going to Malai Shia, Condi.
Rice: Oh. Then it must be their traffic jams. They even have monorails that run off the tracks and dangle in mid-air.
And highway pillars that crack.
Bush: Really? Incompetent, that's all I can say. But no, that's not the reason why we're skipping Malai Shia either.
Rice: Oh I know. You don't want to distract the Prime Minister right now, isn't it?
Heard he's getting some shitty stuff from his predecessor telling him off like a kid.
Bush: If Clinton did that to me, I'd personally throw him off an F-16.
But no, that's also not the reason why we're skipping Malai Shia.
Rice: Must be the floods then, sir? It's the monsoon season now and it floods bad after just two hours of rain. Landslides too;

bring down houses but then people there build 4-storey bungalows without approval.
Bush: Naw, the rain wouldn't bother us. That's also not the reason for not going there.
Rice: I give up. Why are you visiting Indonesia and Singapore, and yet not go to Malai Shia, Mr President?
Bush: The reason, Dr Rice, is that I don't want their Religious
Department people banging on our hotel room door in the middle of the
night,
demanding to see our marriage certificate. Now THAT would scare the hell out of Laura....

Dear Diary

Dear Blog,

I would like to thank you for being a good listener. There is something else that I want to tell you and please pay attention. 2006 is coming to an end and this means that I will be turning 24 very soon and being 24 is close to being 25 which someone once told me is being in the mid-20s. I find this fact rather disturbing as I am growing older, I am not getting my priorities right. For example, I need to shit so badly now but I am wasting time pretending that I have something to type just to look productive... after all, it is a working Saturday.

Well, the time has come to make a decision but the thing is as I type, I could have easily walked to the toilet, unbutton my jeans and then start doing what I do best which is to crap. This, of course fits the context whether I meant it literally or metaphorically. I could very well be holding a cigarette in my hands and the shit hanging from my asshole right now but I choose to procrastinate. Why? I have no fucking idea. Maybe I enjoy the cold air-conditioning in the office which, to a certain point, torments me immensely as the colder I feel, the more my shit wants to break out from captivity.

Anyway, let me tell you guys a story that once made me laugh like an idiot. And don't ask me why I am doing this and why I feel the story is funny eventhough many heard it and looked at me with awe, thinking that I must be some kind of retard to even find the story remotely humourous. Maybe my sense of humour is failing me. Maybe it is just getting out of control. I need to shit so badly now. I am sorry I digressed. Moving on to my story...

Once upon a time, in a beautiful land called Maraysia, there lived many people in many houses. Some big, some small, some yellow, some blue, some round, some square. Then one day, the Prime Minister of the country scoffed at the previous Prime Minister, saying that he wasted so much money, bringing the country's reserve down. Maybe he was right. The ex-PM spent so much money building the twin towers which is only the tallest building in the whole of the entire of the modern day world during his reign. He also built a F1 track which is only a racing track where racers from many prestigious teams and different countries will come to race and thus making this land called Maraysia known to many. He invested a lot of money into SMEs (Small Medium Enterprise) which has no use except for creating more jobs thus incresing the spending power which in turn will generate a more rapid flow in the economy which will only create more demand for products which will then create more job opportunities which will again encourage more spending which basically means the economy will move and grow. The current Prime Minister of Maraysia has bigger visions. He is sending two people into space on board other people's rocket so that they can make teh tarik and play batu seremban there. That is what I call a worthy investment. He also planned to build a sports facility in the U.K so that the atheletes will get used to fighting for their country in cold weather which is such a noble idea. You never know, they might start having the Olympics or Commonwealth games or ASEAN games or whatever games during winter. It is always better to be prepared as we will then have the upper hand and advantage compared to countries which do not have sport facilities in countries with cold weather. Let's see how Pakistan will win Maraysia in hockey this time. The atheletes will then be the best in the world. Thinking of that makes me want to be a Maraysian. They do not have agendas regarding differences in races as none of the people in the Parliament are racists. In a place called Kerantan, religion plays an important role where people are not allowed to dress sexily and by sexily I mean no body hugging tops and tight jeans, pants or skirts which will eccentuate the shape of women's rear. No cleavage shall be shown and no tops revealing the navel. Talk about smart and innovative implementation of rules and creative introduction of legislations. Sorry, I digressed once again... now moving on to my joke:

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because Sammi Veru built a highway eventhough the construction caused damages to the houses nearby and ignored the complaints made by the unreasonable residents of houses with cracked walls.