A Blog With A Title

The life of a regular guy, going through irregular changes, looking for simple pleasures in life. Funny how seldom you can put simple and pleasure together. Everyone needs to believe in a GOD and I believe I can fill your believe. To you, I shall be GOD.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Sad fact but true fact...

I received this mail not too long ago and it just makes me sad that after 50 years of independence, this is the situation that we are still living in. I pledge to the government, do not speak of democracy and do not speak of freedom of speech when it does not exist.

I know that to a certain extent and to a certain level that this will offend and make some people feel bad but it is never with an intention to hurt when I write my entries. For 24 years now, I have come across many great friends of different races and I truly feel blessed. Friends such as Faridz, Razman, Johan and Syafiq that I have known for the longest time. My friendship with Faridz dates back long before and we were always close for as much as I remember. We do not contact each other as often but some words do not need to be expressed in words, friendship is deeper than that. Truth be told, they are malays and muslims but I feel no threat from them. This is what unity is about. To be very honest, the same cannot be said about our government. I can tell you that I feel afraid when I am in the police station after an accident. I feel afraid of the government from the threats and their waving of the Keris shouting something about upholding Ketuanan Melayu. Governments are elected by the people to serve the people and not for them to act like dogs and we like sheep so that they can keep us in line. Great nations like the United States, their government do what is best in the interest of the people, maybe because they want to be re-elected but whatever the reason, that should be the way. That should be how a government is. Not instilling fear in the minority. I will not even dwell into equalities and not push on about fairness. Life's like that. For me, I personally believe that everyone born in Malaysia after 1957 should be considered a bumiputra but since that is not the fact, then what is there that we can do?
I am rambling just because I hate the feeling of being afraid in my own country where I am supposed to be protected. I am talking about racial discrimination and inequality based on race. I am not talking about Malays in general and not stereotyping them, but those that I read in the papers and heard in the news and web, those are bloody disheartening. Then of course there's comedy where our minister was being interviewed by a BBC correspondence. What's his name, Syed Hamid Albar was it? The top people in the government is, at least for me, being totally undiplomatic, undemocratic and disappointing. Those are the people at the top, and then of course there's the Mat Rempits that I believe everyone is afraid of, Malays, Chinese, Indians dan lain-lain. That's it for my part. Have a look at the article that was forwarded to me.


Raja Petra Kamarudin

I'm getting married in the mornin'!
Ding dong! The bells are gonna chime.
Pull out the stopper!
Let's have a whopper!
But get me to the church on time!

Get Me To the Church On Time: music by Frederick Loewe; lyrics by Alan Jay

My mother's name is Barbara Mabel Parnell. A couple of years after World
War II she became a Muslim and adopted the 'Muslim' name Bariah Kamarudin.
Kamarudin is of course my father's name while the 'maiden' name Bariah was
suggested by Tengku Ampuan Bariah Terengganu who was in England then with
the late Sultan of Terengganu (then the Raja Muda of Terengganu) and father
to Malaysia's current Agong. You could say Tengku Ampuan Bariah Terengganu,
who is my father's cousin, 'named' my mother (and they have the cheek to
say I would have the gall to insult the Agong who is sort of my
second-cousin by marriage).

About 25 years or so later, my wife too became a Muslim. She was informed
by the then Grand Imam of the National Mosque (Masjid Negara) that she can
retain her original name, Mable James Anthony Lee. The wife of Raja Adnan
Raja Abdullah, the one-time Deputy Director of the Special Branch and my
brother's father-in-law, suggested my wife take a 'Muslim' name and she
proposed the name Marina. So my wife became Marina Lee @ Mable James
Anthony Lee.

My sister, Norita, married an Englishman but he retained his English name
when he converted to Islam in front of Pak Abas, my Tok Guru from
Terengganu who is also one of the PAS grassroots leaders and the
'strongman' of Kampong Kolam in Kuala Ibai, a PAS stronghold on the
outskirts of Kuala Terengganu which Umno has never been able to conquer.

When my mother first stepped foot in Malaysia a year before Merdeka, my
father's relatives were delighted that my father had married a 'Mem', a
novelty in those days, and that she had 'masuk Melayu'. My mother would
indignantly correct them by saying that she 'masuk Islam', not 'masuk
Melayu'. She had become a Muslim, not a Malay, and she was proud of her
Welsh heritage.

Malays have this misconception that if you become a Muslim then you have
become a Malay. And they would refer to converts as mualaf, in particular
Chinese converts. It is peculiar they do not regard Indian converts as
mualaf but Indian Muslims. Why are Chinese mualaf while Indians are Indian
Muslims and Caucasians 'masuk Melayu'? Did I not say that the Malay mind is
a very weird thing?

I made about nine or ten trips to China from the early- to mid-1990s and
have toured the remotest parts of China where Malaysians have never been
before. Some parts of China that I visited the people there have never seen
a Malaysian in their entire life or know where Malaysia is (and they were
surprised that Malaysians look like Mat Salleh). And there are many Muslim
restaurants even in these remotest parts of China so food, therefore, was
no problem.

There are probably around 110 million or so Muslims in China spread out all
over the country with the majority in the four autonomous regions. Beijing
has a whole street of Muslim restaurants and the variety is so exciting
because it is almost like a gourmet's United Nations. In the rural areas
the choices are not that varied and it is very difficult to detect which
are halal restaurants and which are not. But if you ask the locals they
will be very happy to point to the right restaurant and only on entering
the restaurant will you know that they are Muslim-owned from the verses of
the Quran adorning the wall.

The oldest mosque in China is in Canton which was built 100 years after the
birth of Islam. On the outside the mosque looks like a Chinese temple
complete with moon-gate entrance and all; but once inside there is no
mistaking that it is a mosque.

What awed me was that the Muslims I met speak Arabic and when I told them
that I do not speak Arabic they were very surprised. They asked me whether
I can read the Quran and when I replied that I most certainly can they were
perplexed. They wanted to know how I can read the Quran when I do not speak
Arabic. And when I replied that I am just like 99% other Malaysian Muslims
who read the Quran without being able to speak Arabic, they shook their
heads in disbelief at this demonstration of Malaysia Boleh.

Yes, Chinese Muslims are mualaf as far as Malays are concerned. But the
Chinese were already Muslims 700 years or so before the Malays when the
Malays were still Hindus, Buddhists or worshipped trees in the jungles. And
the Chinese Muslims speak Arabic while most Malays, save a handful, do not.
And Malays look down on Chinese Muslims as second-class Muslims. Much the
Malays do not know outside their very small world.

In an article called 'Si Binatang Raja Petra Jantan Jalang Biadab' that was
published in an Umno website, they asked this question:

Masihkah Raja Petra ke Gereja lagi menemani isteri? Nak tanya Raja Petra,
apa agama isterinya sebenar? Nak tanya saja.

This is another peculiar trait of the Malays. They are very concerned about
what religion you profess. They demand to know if you are a Muslim or Kafir
(infidel). They treat this as their right to demand you inform them of your
religion. Muslims are good people because Islam is the true religion and is
above all other religions which are considered false. So they must know if
you are a Muslim or Kafir so that they can gauge whether you are a good or
bad person. "Islam adalah agama suci yang kita pegang," said this same
article in that Umno website.

This high and mighty attitude make Malays very arrogant and they carry this
holier than thou chip on their shoulder. Non-Muslims should not take
offence though because they are not the only target of these people.
Muslims like me who they view as not 'true' Muslims also suffer

Malays want to dictate what kind of Muslim you should be and if they
discover through an anonymous SMS that you are in the process of leaving
Islam they will rise in anger and demonstrate their displeasure, even if it
is not true. Heaven forbid you leak that you are really leaving Islam. You
will face the full wrath of the Malays. And if for one second they suspect
that you are not their type of Muslim but of a different 'sect' they will
come down hard on you. You must not only be a Muslim but you must be their
type of Muslim as well. That is the Malay mind.

It is quite pathetic really and I sometimes do pity Malays who spend their
whole life preoccupied with finding out what type of Muslim you are and
whether you have secretly left Islam rather than worry whether they could
instead be deviant Muslims. They of course assume and insist that they are
following the correct Islam and if they differ from you then you, and not
them, are the deviants. They will not accept the possibility that you are
right and they are wrong. They are most definitely right and you are most
certainly wrong.

Let us look at a hypothetical situation. Say you walk into a mosque on a
Friday and shout, "The Bible is the true Holy Book and the Quran is false"
or "Jesus is the Son of God and Muhammad is a fake". This will be just like
walking into a Manchester pub wearing a Liverpool jersey. Rest assured you
will not walk out of that mosque in one piece. Okay, now say you protest
when Malays declare the Bible false and that Jesus is not the Son of God.
The Malays will argue that they are allowed to say this because Malaysia is
a Muslim country.

See this e-mail which was published in The People's Parliament to
demonstrate what I mean:

Most of my friends are Malays and through them I learnt the language. I
feel that I've a certain bond with them, until the topics of Malay
privileges and Islam are discussed. I usually just listen and do not put my
two cents because I'm usually the only non-Malay. From their discussion,
I've come to understand how they view the non-Malays. Generally, we should
never question their privileges as we should be grateful that we still get
to retain our Chinese names, surnames, Chinese schools etc. We should never
complain. And they have no qualms criticizing Christianity to my face,
e.g., the Bible is corrupted through many translations, comparing against
the Koran being "suci" as directly from God.

I've always wondered what made them feel so special that they can criticize
but we do not dare in their face. Now I understand that no matter how they
wronged other races, they are somehow protected – e.g., the May 13
incident. I think the govt owes the families of the victims an apology.
Because of that tragedy, the Chinese generally think that Malays have the
tendency to be violent; and the Malays think that they have the upper hand
as they can threaten the Chinese into silence. I'd be grateful if you would
share your thoughts and view on what I've said.

Okay, another hypothetical situation. Say you repeat this same thing in
England, which is not a Muslim country but a Christian country. Will it
then be considered allowed? No, of course not! The Muslims will still
protest and hold demonstrations. The bottom line is, Muslims are allowed to
whack others but others are not supposed to whack Muslims. And this is the
Malay mind as well. So Malays, like these Umno types, resent anyone
whacking them, their party, Ketuanan Melayu, the New Economic Policy, and
anything at all considered 'sacred cows'. But they can scream, even in
'sacred' places like Parliament, that Islam is the religion of this
country, the Malays own Malaysia, and if the non-Malays or non-Muslims do
not like this they can leave the country and migrate to another country.

Malays can give Qurans to non-Muslims but non-Muslims who give Bibles to
Muslims must be sent to prison. Non-Muslims can convert to Islam in droves
but even if just one Muslim leaves Islam there will be blood on the
streets. Malays can label DAP as racist but if the Chinese label Umno as
racist they will make a police report and charge you under the Sedition Act
and try to take away your citizenship as well. Malays can question as to
whether you have left Islam and have become a Christian and now go to
church but you must never question the Malays as to whether racial
discrimination goes against Islamic teachings and whether both the Quran as
well as the Prophet's last sermon lie testimony to this.

Malays are very concerned about whether you pray, how you pray, whether you
believe in God, whether you really think that Prophet Muhammad is the true
Prophet, and so on. Once you pass all these 'tests' of the articles of
faith with flying colours this will make them very happy. Their happiness
rests with you being a Muslim and the type of Muslim that they approve of
on top of that. Okay, so you drink, gamble, have sex with another man's
wife, visit the brothel once a week, and, to top it all, take bribes from
Chinese contactors, pig farmers, brothels, illegal gambling outlets, drug
haunts, etc. That is okay. The Malays will not demonstrate on the streets
because of all this. But if you go to church, notwithstanding that you lead
the life of Mother Theresa, then God have mercy on your soul. What bad you
do is not important. Whether you share their same belief is.

And this is why that particular Umno website is very concerned whether I
still follow my wife to church. That is the most important thing in the
world to them and the entire future of this country and the fate of future
generations depend on them knowing this most crucial piece of information.
Oh, by the way, more than 90% of those in our police lockups are Malays.
And 90% of those Malays in the lockups are there because of drug related
offences. And 70% of those who are inflicted with AIDS are Malays. And 90%
got AIDS because of their drug habit. And this has been going on since the
1970s. And states or areas that have the highest incidences are the
predominantly Malay states or areas. But none of these people go to church.
They don't even go to the mosque, temple or synagogue. So of course the
Umno website does not worry about them. It is when they go to church that
the Umno website will start getting very concerned. That and only that is
what matters.

p/s: The pictures are coming

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

High time for updates

First off, for those who even remotely care for my existence, I am still alive. Although I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and met death face to face, I am still here, hanging by a thread. Holding on to the very essence of life I call consciousness. By that, I mean being able to have normal bodily functions and the ability to control my speech. Not having the pure essence of evil, droplets of sins and shots of destruction that we call alcohol take me over and make me do the things that I do not remember doing or performing acts that I truly regret.

During the times when I was not updating my blog, I have been through bottles of Johnnies and Hennesies with accompaniments from champagnes, beers and maybe some vodkas here and there coloured up with a little wine. Yes, we have been drinking a lot and by saying we, I refer to the ever-trustworthy drinking companion Wern "emo-drinker" Shen. Me and some friends which made up a group of 12 went over to Langkawi 2 weeks back and for the three nights that we were there, we drank, and oh fucking hell yes we drank with a vengeance at the expense of waking up late and being fucked and vomiting like it was a competition. It was great fun as this particular trip had many things that was not listed in the itinerary such as a late night live drama, walking in heavy rain after trying so hard not to get wet while playing "water-sport", random objects throwing show, water gun shoot-off and the clogging of the toilet drain proccess by two ladies. It was messy. It was messy but fun.

I do not have the pictures but the nights were wild. Peeing from the balcony ( we stayed on the ground floor), drinking to card games, the quest for love for some and the quest for answers for others. It was a great bonding experience as the time best spent was in the room. We joked and played and drank and it was all good. Candid pictures and videos were taken in all the greatness of being in a drunken stupor, telling the camera that I am GOD and all those bullcrap.

I know that I have promised much pictures and this time, I will make sure that there will be pictures. I will get if from everyone who brought their cameras and then I will upload. I promise.

This month, there are 3 birthdays of 3 very important people to me. What makes it so special is that these 3 are the 3 leading ladies in my life right now and all being special to me in their own different way.

3rd of October
Miss Mengchia,
There has been so much that we went through and I am very thankful that we are still as close as I hope we would be. There are words of apologies that I wish to say to you but I guess that it will not be right in this context. You have always treated me with the best intentions and given me so much insight in my life. For this, I sincerely thank you. I wish you the very best in life and as you have always been there for me in my life, I make this pledge to you that I will always be there should you need me. Take good care of yourself and may only the best be bestowed upon you.


12th October
Miss Vicky Chow
You have never given up on me no matter how many times I screwed up and I know that I have not been the best boyfriend that you have encountered. You have had to put up with many crazy antics and behaviour from me and for that I apologise. You have been a great girlfriend and I am thankful. You have shown me time and time again that I am someone who is worth more than I believe what I am worth and you stood by me all those times when I needed someone to be there beside me. For this birthday, I wish you great strength and confidence to deal with what the world will throw at you and hope that each birthday will give you a renewed sense of believe that great things will happen to great people. You have always stood by my side, holding my hand and guiding me on to be someone better. Here, I promise that I will always be there for you.


15th October

Miss Sheley
The greatest friend that one could ask for. You have always given me a slap when a slap is due and see me in a different light compared to how others perceive me. You do not stereotype who I am and do not judge me from what many others say about me which is nothing less than me being a beast of some sort. Although you have the tendency to be late for appointments and maybe sometimes cancel at the last minute, you have never ever let me down as a friend. We have known each other for sometime already and from a quiet beginning, I am glad that we have grew this close as friends and I know that you will take a bullet for me if not pushing someone to take one. I hope that I have not failed you as a friend at any point, and if I did, please forgive me.