Love vs Infatuation

I read Cynthia's blog titled Love vs Infatuation and it made me think for a little while as to how much all of us comprehend what love even means. What is the demarcation of love and infatuation? I have to admit that I still do not know despite all the times that I have been in a relationship. Infatuation could stem from the love of the same song or the dislike of the same colour but it definitely takes more than that to create the sensation of love betwen two people.

Infatuation hits us hard and it often occurs during the first few meets, where people term it as 'love at first sight'. There is no such thing, there is lust at first sight but never love. There is like at first sight and then there is just plain infatuation. I have tried hard to understand but I guess I always screw it up, not being able to differentiate the true meaning behind those two words. On my last post, very little people know what it is all about and thus I can guess who actually put those last two comments. I do not blame anyone. I know that I only have myself to blame.

What the hell is love anyway. Is it convenience? Is it the butterflies in your stomach that you get when you get close to someone? Is it the feeling of wanting to live together for the rest of your life? Is it the mutual understanding and respect and space given to each other? Does all that constitute to being love? Honestly, I do not know. To be in love, I guess, we have to fall in love, and falling in love takes time to understand each other and accept what the other party has to offer. I have always been straight forward with my feelings when it comes to my blog and I guess that there is no need hiding as everyone miraculously know what happened to me in the course of my stay in Melbourne. I do not wish for sympathy or anyone to understand me. I just need 'you' to understand. I just need 'you' to know why I did what I did. I know that I have been cruel to you and what I did was indeed selfish but is being selfish always wrong?

You asked me for a reason as to why I did what I did. It's the feeling that hit me so hard that I do not have a clear and undistorted view of what the future will bring for us and I do not want to continue dragging you down this path. I am trying to be rational and fair but all I get is judgments and criticism from people. Tell me this, should I drag on something which I know will not have a happy ending? Is that a noble act? Will that make me selfless?

There will be no more posts for quite some time but that is rarely the case is it not? I do not know what I wish to achieve anymore and for everyone who cares, thank you and for those who do not understand, try not to because I do not as well. Take care everyone.

To those who wishes to lash out at me, feel free. My blog has always been an avenue and platform for people to tell me how much I suck. Only thing that I ask for is for you to leave your name so maybe the next time I see you or hear from you, I can ask for your forgiveness and maybe even tell you why I did what I did when I truly understand the whole situation myself. To all my friends, try not to accuse me for being an ass if you wish to only hear one side of the story.

To 'you', I am sorry. Do not for an instance think that I do not appreciate what you have given me. Maybe they were right all along, I am a sucker for losing out.
To my friends who still, maybe, kinda, hopefully, doubtfully have my back, thank you. For those who thinks that I am an asshole, please take care and hope that you guys will be able to see things from a different side.

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There are days where the sky seems darker than usual and you get totally engrossed by the feeling of being lost and the great sense of uncertainty that rains on you from the clouds that should be white and cotton-like. The sky stretches to infinity and as far as the eyes can see, the dark clouds have encompassed it all, your vision is blurred from the droplets that hang to your eyelashes. Your eyes become heavy and with a jerk you wake up. You breathe a sigh of relief but only to discover that you are still where you are.

For every darkest day, there will be a brightest minute, a tiny ray of sun that penetrates through the thick merciless dark clouds. It would be the only source of wamth, the only good thing in that situation. I am looking for that ray and even if I could find it, I need to decipher what it means.

Thank you for all the times you shared with me. Good bye. Take care. I hope we get to meet again. When we do, I hope that it would be with a smile and with no reflection of that dark cloudy day.

Just for the fucks of it.... I mean the fun of it

I got this in my e-mail from a friend of mine and it's kinda funny so I wanna share this with you guys. Maybe you guys have already seen it somewhere before, and for those who have not, please do enjoy.


MEN & WOMEN EQUATION

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employe e = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he
needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item
that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must
understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must
love her a lot and not try to
understand
her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single
men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he
will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that
she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any
argument.
Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at
weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals

Barley III : The Final....... whatever larr

Hopefully, this will be the final installment of my Barley posts. From where I left off, I was supposed to include the pictures of monkeys, monkeys being friendly with me and monkeys attacking me, so please do enjoy.

Come here monkey.... eat this LSD

Give me more of that shit, you human

Monkey: Is that two little bananas on your hand??
Charles: Just dun fucking bite me you son of a monkey

Ok, I know that the third picture looks stupid, I admit that but I was fucking scared so just shut the hell up and let me live with it with deep regret and remorse and have myself hide in the corner of my room with a blanket over my head.

Tanah Lot was the next destination. The view in Tanah Lot was really picturesque, not the market itself of course, but the cliff and the sea and the sun. The weather then was great, it was a little cloudy and thus providing us with the much needed shade and the cooling breeze was so welcoming.







The saddest thing about that day was that we could not watch the sunset as it was too cloudy and in the market place, Reagan, my colleagues and I got ourselves fake tattoos, wanting to pretend to be macho and all. Some of you have seen it and some of you have not but it is almost all gone now. All faded.
I am really sorry that this post is getting boring, something happened and just spoiled my mood so I guess that I will just post up the remaining of the pictures.







Just thought of ending my post with one of my favourite pictures. Well, that sums up my trip to Bali and there are many more things that I actually wish to share but not in this post. There are many funny images and such which I will put up in due time. I know this post ends rather abruptly but I am just not in the mood so please do forgive me. For the guys, I hope that picture made up for it and I think just to be fair, I need to have something for the girls as well and so I will post up a picture courtesy of my brother....

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Barley Part II

I did not freaking know that blogger had a limit as to how long the post could be... well the previous post covered day one and day two. That night we stayed at a hotel called Kuta Paradiso, apparently a 5 ***** hotel but it looks shoddy, it looks like a has been 5 star but the good thing is, it is located right at the heart of Kuta city.

Third day was a blast, we had so much fun that we did not wanna go home. It was such a great day with perfect weather and the wind was blowing through my long hair making it dance with the breeze. Then I woke up and realized that I was still on the bus towards our destination and my hair was short. Third day was indeed better than the previous days due to the fact that we went to Turtle Island and also to a place called Tanah Lot, and a scary place filled with monkeys roaming the grounds freely. Turtle Island, as you may have expected, is an island with turtles, in captivity of course and Tanah Lot is a place where you play hard to get.

Let me break it down for you. The trick to have a successful bargain is to fucking push the price unreasonably low and sometimes, you get the deal. I shopped around and they were selling those funny bracelets made from wood and such. They asked for Rp8,000 which costs approximately Rm3.20 so i offered her Rp6,000 which is equivalent to RM2.40 which I think is worth the money and so I took 3 of it, for Rp6,000. As I said, you have to push the price ridiculously low. I bought a pair of earrings which costs about Rp200,000+ but after a little bargaining, I got it for Rp7,000. Crazy? You got that right. Now, the place filled with monkeys, and I meant that literally, not as a metaphor to describe my colleagues, was a scary scary place because a monkey fucking bit me. Yes, it fucking bit me and if it wasn't because that the place was swarming with those unevolved primates, I would have already kicked it's ass back to where it belonged, probably Bali but the point is, I will kick it's ass. Pictures coming up.

It did not turn into a princess

TMNT

My brother takes lousy photos

Kinda cooling to have a snake around your neck

Eighty cents coconut

Monkey place was next and it was scary. Lets just say that they bite and they attack.

I would have to continue some other time due to some problems with blogger. I am not able to upload those photos for the time being so I think it will have to wait. See ya and hold on for part III.

I wanna be a part of it......Barley Barley

Hey ya'll, I'm finally back from Bali and although it may be a shopping haven and a holiday paradise for many, it barely cuts it for me. The weather was catastrophic I could barely breathe, the sun gave me constant migraine (or maybe the massage, I don't really know) and the rain gave me cough and flu. It was bloody indescribable even though I just described it. The only good thing about that place is the beach. The only good thing about the beach was the people. The only thing good about the people was that they dress very skimpily, what did you expect, it's a bloody beach. Anyway, the trip started well as me and my brother arrived later than the rest of the group due the the difference in flight schedule but it was all good.

The first resort that we went to was excellent and it looked really good. It was a 3 star hotel but the feel to it was great. There are two swimming pools and due to the reason that it was night time, the lighting created an amazing romantic atmosphere. It was called the All Seasons Hotel located towards the outskirts. Our room had a balcony overlooking the swimming pool but sadly, there weren't any ladies doing the nude swim and not even a single one moon bathing in the nude. What kind of country is that? It does not make sense. How can they not swim in the nude and moon bathe? How can they have the heart to not feast my eyes?


After dinner and a shower, we went out for a stroll. Cigarettes costs us around RM4 and the same goes for a big bottle of Heineken. The stroll was a pretty mundane one until I came across this place and honest to god, there are so many people that crossed my mind when I saw it. I will admit that I will be a part of it. Aptly named for all my friends. Fingers will not be pointed and names will not be mentioned but you guys know who you are exactly and if you don't, just ask me if you are in that list you fucking posers.
The local beer there was not that bad and I can only remember two, one which I tried and the other which I tried before, Bintang and Bali Hai respectively.

The second day came and we did a few things, nothing much to shout about. We watched one of their cultural shows and it struck me so hard that all of the characters portrayed looked fucking evil and scary. I have no idea if it was a depiction of their ghost or just a metaphoric representation of evil but they look scary and towards the end, they tried so hard to add in some comedy, it turned out to be something close to what we would expect from Senario. A bunch of idiots being try-hards. The only thing funny about them was them looking funny and sadly, I did not mean that in a good way.


Bloody disturbing ain't it? I would have whacked the shit out of them if I ever did see them, or maybe I would just faint and crap in my pants either way, none is good. We also went to a factory that produces batik and has an array of paintings on display but of course, none of that crap captured my interest. Batik? Paintings? Fucking hot weather? I think I'd rather have a beer and a couple more beers. Hey, what can I say, beer is cheap, did I also mention that beers are good for rehydration? I made that up but just shut up, I did not ask for your opinion.

People working on Batik... boring

Paintings.... boring

The best sight to look at in that place

We then headed for lunch and then to a place where they sold sculptures and small souvenirs somewhere along the way. The items there were kinda catchy, those that I liked, I could not afford and those that I could afford, I would rather spend it on more Bintang beer. Where we had lunch, it overlooked one of the biggest volcano in Bali and no, it did not erupt. I forgot what the place was called because I seriously don't give that much of a shit regarding volcanoes unless of course, I saw smoke coming out from it's peak, then I am sure that somehow the name of that place will be stuck to my mind, for a very long long time. Lunch, as always, was buffet style and by buffet I do not mean anything close to Shangri-La standard, think more along the line of Kayu Nasi Kandar. Later that evening, we went to a temple where people, ladies included, stripped and took a dip in some sort of spring water clad in nothing more than sarongs and maybe their bras. Did i mention that more than 90% of their population are made up of hindus? The dinner was memorable, not because of the food but because of the place and setting. We had dinner on the beach where tables were set up and the source of light was from the moon and candles on the table, and of course to spoil it all, there were the fluorescent from the main restaurant itself. Oh well, nothing is perfect. Pictures coming up.

The Volcano... Quite nice view

Sculpture of one of their myths

One for the ladies.... also a myth I am sure

At the entrance to the temple

Cleanse yourself off your sins you sinners

Another Temple, another entrance

In the cave ya'll

Dinner with mum and dad

Daydreaming...

Where does creativity stems from? Is it a gift that some of us are blessed with since the day we were born? Can creativity be cultivated through exposure to comics, cartoons, novels, magazines and other mediums of communications? If it was like that, it is not creativity anymore is it not? We get hit by creativity in the strangest of manners. In my line of work, there is little involvement of paperwork and time spent in the office. My job is to think, propose, plan and execute. Easy? I wish. What if I have no ideas? Then are there any promotions or events that will take place? What if my planning go astray? Will there then be anything going on for my company? Nope. Many people told me that I have an easy job because they see me out very often and that is true. What they do not see is my time spent in the office and the gruelling hours of meeting that I have to attend and chair. In order to do what I do, I have to be able to churn out ideas for promotions and event for the whole year. I have to seek out sponsors and persuade them to part with cash or products for the little thing that I could give them back which is termed advertisements and exposure. Back to creativity. Some people are hit with their best ideas in a drunken stupor and some just right before they sleep. Some hit their peak ideas when they are sitting in the toilet and some when they are daydreaming. Mine is the latter of the latter. I daydream a lot and to those who knows me through and through, I will come up with random explanations and descriptions of events, to bullshit to my friends.
You can ask me what is the story behind April Fool's day and I can tell you that the story actually takes place 3,ooo years ago in a tiny village in Italy called NuakNuak. People there are very cautious as they are deemed extremely superstitious and there is this one day when a man called Alfie proposed to his neighbour, whom by this time you should have guessed, named April. He knocked on the door and when April opened the door, he knelt but to his dismay, he did not notice that he was under a ladder and a black cat just ran between his legs, being caught off guard, he fell to the side and broke seven mirrors which equates to 49 years of bad luck (if he was living in my country, I do not think that he will see the existence of the so called 'one nation - one race' even until the time his bad luck runs out). That very instance, a storm hit NuakNuak and from afar, they could see a whirlwind coming towards their tiny village. Not realising what is happening, Alfie was hit so hard by a cow that was thrown at him by the whirlwind and he has since became mentally retarded and regarded as the village fool. April felt a surge of guilt and married him and thus he became April's fool.
My mind works in a way where I make things up as I go and that is how I get ideas. I could sit in my car, in a parking lot and just start to imagine how things would be and how the whole event is going to be like. The ideas will always be extravagant and very exaggerated but it does create a basis for me. One of my favourite daydream that I have very often is the thing which I would wish for should I come across a genie. I only need one wish.

Charles: Genie, I wish that everything that I say aloud three times will come true.
Genie: Done. You now have cosmic powers beyond anyones comprehension.
Charles: All genies cease to exist, all genies cease to exist, all genies cease to exist.
Genie: You bitc........*poof*

Think of the possibilities. Think of the wealth and power that you would garner. You could live your life exactly how you have always wanted to. You can have the person you truly love, the house and family of your dreams and your enemies and foes will be transported to a town filled with man-eating trolls and they only have tooth-picks to defend themselves. Creativity does not always involve rainbows and butterflies. I know for a fact because I had to remove one of my entries. Where can I find a genie? Where do I find the magic lamp? Creativity is always very subjective, no right or wrong, no good or bad, just a reflection of what goes on in our mind. I just realised that I would be a tyrant, a warlord and a great friend as I would bestow upon all my friends nothing but greatness. By then, we will all be swimming in Champagne so remember to bring your goggles because it might hurt your eyes.
Some people are just born to think, some to plan and some to execute. I am born to dream.