A Blog With A Title

The life of a regular guy, going through irregular changes, looking for simple pleasures in life. Funny how seldom you can put simple and pleasure together. Everyone needs to believe in a GOD and I believe I can fill your believe. To you, I shall be GOD.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Love vs Infatuation

I read Cynthia's blog titled Love vs Infatuation and it made me think for a little while as to how much all of us comprehend what love even means. What is the demarcation of love and infatuation? I have to admit that I still do not know despite all the times that I have been in a relationship. Infatuation could stem from the love of the same song or the dislike of the same colour but it definitely takes more than that to create the sensation of love betwen two people.

Infatuation hits us hard and it often occurs during the first few meets, where people term it as 'love at first sight'. There is no such thing, there is lust at first sight but never love. There is like at first sight and then there is just plain infatuation. I have tried hard to understand but I guess I always screw it up, not being able to differentiate the true meaning behind those two words. On my last post, very little people know what it is all about and thus I can guess who actually put those last two comments. I do not blame anyone. I know that I only have myself to blame.

What the hell is love anyway. Is it convenience? Is it the butterflies in your stomach that you get when you get close to someone? Is it the feeling of wanting to live together for the rest of your life? Is it the mutual understanding and respect and space given to each other? Does all that constitute to being love? Honestly, I do not know. To be in love, I guess, we have to fall in love, and falling in love takes time to understand each other and accept what the other party has to offer. I have always been straight forward with my feelings when it comes to my blog and I guess that there is no need hiding as everyone miraculously know what happened to me in the course of my stay in Melbourne. I do not wish for sympathy or anyone to understand me. I just need 'you' to understand. I just need 'you' to know why I did what I did. I know that I have been cruel to you and what I did was indeed selfish but is being selfish always wrong?

You asked me for a reason as to why I did what I did. It's the feeling that hit me so hard that I do not have a clear and undistorted view of what the future will bring for us and I do not want to continue dragging you down this path. I am trying to be rational and fair but all I get is judgments and criticism from people. Tell me this, should I drag on something which I know will not have a happy ending? Is that a noble act? Will that make me selfless?

There will be no more posts for quite some time but that is rarely the case is it not? I do not know what I wish to achieve anymore and for everyone who cares, thank you and for those who do not understand, try not to because I do not as well. Take care everyone.

To those who wishes to lash out at me, feel free. My blog has always been an avenue and platform for people to tell me how much I suck. Only thing that I ask for is for you to leave your name so maybe the next time I see you or hear from you, I can ask for your forgiveness and maybe even tell you why I did what I did when I truly understand the whole situation myself. To all my friends, try not to accuse me for being an ass if you wish to only hear one side of the story.

To 'you', I am sorry. Do not for an instance think that I do not appreciate what you have given me. Maybe they were right all along, I am a sucker for losing out.
To my friends who still, maybe, kinda, hopefully, doubtfully have my back, thank you. For those who thinks that I am an asshole, please take care and hope that you guys will be able to see things from a different side.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i will eventually forgive u one day...no need to be sorry... is hard for me to let go u.. becoz i love u n i tot u r the one for me... i can't let go is becoz of all ur promises that u give me... give me time to forgive n forget u by then i promise that i will be ur best friend... maybe at this moment i still can't understand y u let go our relationship that is smooth n nice... but i'm sure one day i will... i dunno when but i will... go n sort your thing out n have a clearer picture on what u want in the future... good luck n take care my love... will always miss u...

12:19 PM  
Anonymous faridz said...

enough with the anonymousness already! i want names damnit. Charles, you always this moody? and emo? like that wanker pete wentz? the charles i know is always a happy person.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Chan said...

is that happy gay or happy haha

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Vicky said...

de anonymous in this post is me v|cky

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charles, piece of advice you really don’t know what you are missing out. I have known you for quite sometime and when you intro Vicky to us I felt that it’s a blessing in disguise that you actually found someone like her. What the hell were you thinking when you told her that you want to call it off?? Everyone one was so envy of you both. She is such an understanding person. All the guys out there and this includes me wish that I could actually have someone like her in my life and u choose to let her go. Do you know what you are missing out? I clearly think that you don’t because if you do, you would not have done what you have actually missed out in you life. Enough said I really wish you all the best for your next relationship and I do hope that you do not treat her like how u treated Vicky. And speaking of that I want to thank you for doing what you did. Because at least now I know I can actually go after her. Since you don’t know how to treasure her, might as well I do. It might sound like as though I like to go after other people’s left over but I don’t care because I know at the end of the day I will and would be the happiest person on earth!

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charles, piece of advice you really don’t know what you are missing out. I have known you for quite sometime and when you intro Vicky to us I felt that it’s a blessing in disguise that you actually found someone like her. What the hell were you thinking when you told her that you want to call it off?? Everyone one was so envy of you both. She is such an understanding person. All the guys out there and this includes me wish that I could actually have someone like her in my life and u choose to let her go. Do you know what you are missing out? I clearly think that you don’t because if you do, you would not have done what you did. Enough said I really wish you all the best for your next relationship and I do hope that you do not treat her like how u treated Vicky. And speaking of that I want to thank you for doing what you did. Because at least now I know I can actually go after her. Since you don’t know how to treasure her, might as well I do. It might sound like as though I like to go after other people’s left over but I don’t care because I know at the end of the day I will and would be the happiest person on earth!

5:15 PM  
Anonymous faridz said...

geez everyone's slating the hell out of charles. Give the poor dude a break eventhough ive no idea whats going on. Would Taylor Rain be considered a leftover? cause if she is and i get her dayumnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Happiest person on earth!

6:25 PM  
Blogger Charles said...

If you really are someone who have known me for sometime, you would know why I did what I did. You wanna act all macho and stuff? You wanna go after Vicky? Am I fucking stopping you? Why the hell not? If you can provide her the happiness that I could not, please go ahead and you know what... I bet you look like roadkill smeared with shit, sun-dried and re-smeared with fresh shit you fucking dumbass. If you really are such a man that you fucking claim you are, do not hide behind the curtain and remain anonymous, tell us who this brave hero really is. You know what, I bet that you wear a fucking skirt. Wanna challenge me? Do it in my fucking face you dumb cunt.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your mother said you've got a small dick, fuck faced mother fucker. hehehe....enjoy.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous vicky said...

can all the anoymous stop it dy...is non-of ur business... please leave charles n me alone... I'M NOT COMPLAINING WHY SHOULD U... SO BACK OFF...

10:02 AM  
Blogger Charles said...

On a brighter note, the preview for the show NEXT really is good.

3:11 PM  
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