A Blog With A Title

The life of a regular guy, going through irregular changes, looking for simple pleasures in life. Funny how seldom you can put simple and pleasure together. Everyone needs to believe in a GOD and I believe I can fill your believe. To you, I shall be GOD.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Pig on my butt

Maybe it is just me. Maybe it is just my paranoia acting up again. Or maybe I just need to wind down a little bit and go take a dump in the middle of the dessert and hope that my pile of shit will start creating an oasis. I know my shits won't bring about any good besides the fact that I contribute a little bit more to the toilet paper and water expense. Due to sensitivity and restrictions on my own behalf, this post may just very well turn out to be 'just another post'. Or it may not. Lets see.

The past few days has been somewhat of an emotional roller-coaster for me and I am beginning to hear stuff like "Oh my fu*king god, Charles is gonna start whining and bitching and get all wussied up talking about emotional stuff which is gonna turn this whole post into an emo post". Not so. This post will contain serious matters in which I wish to share and discuss with the people I know and those who do read my blog and hopefully each and everyone can contribute their ideas to actually help me solve a problem that I have been facing for the past few days and maybe, just maybe, you guys can help me rid my problems off me. How the hell should I bloody style my hair so that Cindy won't laugh at it as if she has seen a baby elephant coming out from a giraffe's ass? My god. Anyways, I have not had the priviledge to actually post for the past few days and this is due to the reason that the internet connection in my office is trying to act like King Xerxes ( which is like a pussy) and deprive me of the oh so very important internet connection that I need. The crew somehow manage to stick together went through the worst of times and this does indeed brings joy, very much of it, to me. Just a few days back, I thought that this would be the end of everything. To you guys, we have started out together and stuck to each other since, we have grown a little in number, everyone close and dear to us were added into the group and now I believe that we have that bond to tie us together. Lets stay this way shall we? We may be small in number but adequate in love and care. There may be a little unfairness in the distribution amount of love in the group and that is acceptable. For example, Cindy does not love me all that much compared to..... because I have a funny hairstyle. But all in all, I know that she still loves me and if you see a next post from me, it is confirmed that I am somewhere in her heart because she has not come to with with a sledge hammer and a chainsaw. The original click five has begun to morph into something which resembles LMF (LazyMotherFuckers) in terms of number and the language used.

I have something funny and disgusting to share and do not worry, the two stories are not related. First off, the disgusting story.

I was having my breakfast and there was a baby roach in my fucking noodle. Ok, now moving on to the funny story.
Just two days ago, I went to my gym and firstly, I will admit that I do not pack my own gym bag and it is all done by my maid whom Darrell totally digs and hopes to have sweet, passionate sex with. Anyways, I got changed and went for my workout and there is so much that you can learn from the idiot box. I was on the treadmill with my headphone on and my eyes fixed on TV number 5 which was showing The Simpsons. Ned Flanders' sons, Gay Flanders and Fag Flanders asked theid dad a question and I FUCKING BEG YOU GUYS NOT TO BLAST ME BECAUSE I AM JUST SHARING SOMETHING THAT I LEARNED. I AM NOT TRYING TO STIR UP RELIGIOUS OR RACIAL ISSUES. The conversation goes something like this:
(They were trying to act out a scene from the bible)

Gay : Dad, if Kane and Abel are the only children of Adam and Eve, how did they have more babies?
Fag : Did they have babies with their mother?
Gay : Or with each other?
Ned : Speak of no more sins Gay and kill your brother.

And so there we are. Oh fuck... OK that was not the story, I got sidetracked, back to the story. After my gym session, I went to take my shower and it always feels good to have a hot shower after gym as it relaxes you. Then came my horror. When I opened my bag, I saw a pair of fresh, bright red underwear and as a cherry on top of the scoop of chocolate sundae of embarassment, there was a print of a pig at the right butt cheek. I had no choice, I walked out of the shower donning the bright-red-underwear-with-a-print-of-a-pig-on-the-right-butt-cheek and walked towards my locker, heads down. And if you guys are wondering, both heads are down. It was embarassing. I know that people were looking and it was the most awkward situation that I have been in since I went to gym.

That's it for today boys and girls. Cheers.



Anonymous hendrik said...

that's what i call a great chance for you to get hooked up with a gay mate. strong and muscular gay guy that will pump you up . how thoughtful of your maid .

enough already ... could feel goosebumps on my butt cheek !


1:04 PM  
Anonymous hendrik again said...

and maybe he can assist you on the hairstyling since gays have good sense of fashion. i assume !

then you'll be like

feel good and look good !!!

1:09 PM  
Blogger ΅•º čħĸ åĸä ®ēåģăŇ© º•΅ ™ said...

actually, give advice about what? hair only ma... go BALD... then no style needed... Cindy will have nothing to laugh about...
double ur happiness... next trip to the gym, wear one with a pig on the left

10:12 AM  

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