CNY- short post of no significance

Chinese New Year is almost over and there comes a time when we say goodbye to celebrations, holidays, excessive drinking and gambling like a high roller. I always look forward to Chinese New Year but it is mainly because of the holidays and the red packets and the way i look at it is all wrong. I am no longer feeling the mood of festivities but instead only the little perks that comes with it. Chinese New Year no longer bear the meaning that it used to, that is to me at least, all I know is that it is the beginning of the new lunar year. I drank, and I drank a lot. I gambled and there were so many ups and downs but all in all I lost. I lost fucking 5 bucks. I am not in the mood. Not this year. I am not even sure about the determining factors to me feeling this way. Maybe it is because I am already grown up and all these do not play a significant role in my life anymore.
I remember that when we were much younger, we all sat in daddy's car on the first day of Cinese New Year and drove to my uncle's place and we would stay there from morning til night where our dad and uncles will be playing mahjong and mum and aunts will be chatting and the younger ones will be drinking (soft drinks and packet drinks) and mix around, a once in a year activity. But now that everyone has grown up, we still go to my uncle's place but in a few different cars as we will head of after a spending a few hours there. The meaning of Chinese New Year and the purpose of it has diminished as we age and there is only so much of it left which is not superficial. Meeting up once a year and having to go like " Wah... long time no see, how are you?" while smiling like a fucking buffoon when you know that deep inside that neither side gives a shit. You have your life and I have mine, or I would like to believe that I do.
Nothing really significant happened except for that one time that the explosives that we set off went sideways and if we were any luckier, it would have given a chance to one of the tenants in Sierramas to renovate their house. I don't even know if this Chinese New Year has been a happy one. I cannot be sure. There are so many things that I am no longer sure of anymore. I am not even sure of myself. Again, I am lost. I have developed an addiction to have my fist on people's face.