Bush don't know so many things... it's a fake!

I received this from some whom I cannot remember who and for that I am sorry. Sincerely sorry. I cannot give due credits to the person who sent me this piece and so credits to everyone who reads my blog and bothers even a little bit about my life... or what is left of it. I have had this in my draft for the longest time and I just found it again and so here it is.




In November 2006, President George W Bush is visiting several Asian countries including Indonesia and Singapore.

Bush: Well Condi, is there anything you need from Singapore that I can pick up for you while I am there next month?
Rice: That's very kind of you, Mr President, but no, there's really nothing I need right now from there. But Laura will certainly enjoy the shopping there, sir.

Bush: Ah yes, she's been talking about it. Lee's wife has promised to take her shopping at the newly opened Vivocity.
Rice: I'm sure she'll enjoy a trip to Sentosa too. Especially now that the haze from Indonesia has more or less lifted. Talking of which, you're going to Indonesia too, aren't you sir?

Bush: Yes I am, and while I'm with Susilo Bambang, Laura will visit Acheh and give away a cheque to the tsunami victims.

Rice: How sweet. Would you be dropping by Malai Shia, sir?
Bush: Naw, giving them a miss.
Rice: Don't blame you sir, they have some rough motor cyclists there.
Called themselves "Mad Ram Piss" or something.
They think they're the Asian equivalent of our Knievel. They would certainly scare Laura to death.
Bush: Nah, Laura is made of sterner stuff. But that's not the reason why we're not going to Malai Shia, Condi.
Rice: Oh. Then it must be their traffic jams. They even have monorails that run off the tracks and dangle in mid-air.
And highway pillars that crack.
Bush: Really? Incompetent, that's all I can say. But no, that's not the reason why we're skipping Malai Shia either.
Rice: Oh I know. You don't want to distract the Prime Minister right now, isn't it?
Heard he's getting some shitty stuff from his predecessor telling him off like a kid.
Bush: If Clinton did that to me, I'd personally throw him off an F-16.
But no, that's also not the reason why we're skipping Malai Shia.
Rice: Must be the floods then, sir? It's the monsoon season now and it floods bad after just two hours of rain. Landslides too;

bring down houses but then people there build 4-storey bungalows without approval.
Bush: Naw, the rain wouldn't bother us. That's also not the reason for not going there.
Rice: I give up. Why are you visiting Indonesia and Singapore, and yet not go to Malai Shia, Mr President?
Bush: The reason, Dr Rice, is that I don't want their Religious
Department people banging on our hotel room door in the middle of the
night,
demanding to see our marriage certificate. Now THAT would scare the hell out of Laura....

The Best Post

I just came up with a fucking brilliant new idea for my fucking incredible blog. Oh my god, I can't believe that it took me so fucking long to think of this. Who the fuck am I kidding. I have no new ideas of any sort. Fuck it. My blog is becoming boring with entries being more mediocre and as a reflection of my life, my blog says that I am a sad pathetic fucker with nothing much going on and thus nothing much to write about. I don't fucking care. I want to pretend that there is so fucking much going on for me. I WANT TO. I HAVE TO. AND BECAUSE I CAN.

Who the fuck am I fucking kidding again. I can talk about work but work should be left in the office. I can talk about politics but I guess that the government is actually fucking people up their arse if you talk about "sensitive issues" such as race, religion, politicians and how the government is fucking up our fucking economy by spending money on things which does not benefit the fucking people of this fucking country. Let me explain why I feel so strongly about this issue.

The government being the great leaders that we, maybe not we but our parents and elders elected, are a bunch of sentimental people who puts the image of the country first. That is why they decided to build a RM400,000,000 palace for our beloved king. There is definitely nothing wrong with that besides the fact that with RM400,000,000 you can fucking build a fucking village and does it, honestly, take RM400,000,000 to build that Istana? My best guess is that half of it or more will go to the retirement fund for a few individual. I am only speculating of course and hope that no action will be taken and that I will not be summoned to court. I like typing down so many zeros. 400 fucking million, that is what I call a worthwhile investment, a chance for visitors to come and take a few photographs outside the gate with those guards on horses and voila, Malaysia will be known worldwide by everyone because the visitors will spread the news that Malaysia spent a whopping RM400,000,000 on a palace so that a few people can stay in it and everyone will be so hyped up that they will call their agent the second they heard the news and get tickets to visit Malaysia just to see it. This will in turn generate publicity for our beloved country and also revenue because foreign monetary injection means expansion for our country's economy and if everything turns out fine, the government will have another RM400,000,000 to build another palace right beside it, but this one's in white and will house our prime minister and his family plus his cats. Malaysia will be the proud owner of the twin tower and the Twin Palace. I can see that our country is moving towards great achievements.

Of course there is the bridge for Penang or some place like that where they will spend many zeros also. This bridge is so great that there are designated areas for people to stop their car and have a view of our beautiful straits of Malacca which truly reflects on the identity that Malaysians have accustomed with over their lifetime, TEH TARIK. Maybe not so bad but something similar. Maybe not similar but we definite see no fishes swimming there and good fucking luck trying to find Nemo in there. What are all those for?

There are mosques sprouting up everywhere as well. I am not trying to stir any controversy regarding race or religion but come on. How many do you need? There is a new one built along Jalan Pudu, as if the traffic there is not congested enough. I wonder how people will get through that area during the Friday prayers. Is the government allowed to build chinese temple or indian temple? Are we not classified as Malaysians? Is it because we are the minority? Oh well. What can I say? I am just a minority.

My point is, there is no point but just that MY BLOG FUCKING RULES AND I HAVE LOTS GOING ON FOR ME. WOOOHOOOO. I love my country. I love you guys. Love me too.

Update:
The comments that I have received actually suggests that I am a racist and if you do read my blog carefully, I am merely stating the inefficiency of how the administration is doing their job and about the unfairness of the government towards the minorities of the nation. I have my fair share of Malay friends and acquaintances and please do not take it the wrong way. In my post, I did not discriminate the Malays but instead, the officials who are Malays and not doing their part for other races. Comments are welcome but please do not, in any way, stir up any racial disharmony among the readers of this blog. Thank you.

p/s: I will reply any comments should there be further dissatisfactions.

A Post With a Title

The first month of 2007 is coming to an end. January has always been the time where everyone will have set their goals and visions and have a list in their mind of what they wish to accomplish in this coming year, same goes for me. It was never easy for me to set goals for myself, be it for career, friendship, relationship and all the other factors that constantly play a part in moulding my life and make me who I will become. Each of us will set a guideline to follow, a guideline to lead us to where we want to be for the next coming year but very often, things do not turn out the way we initially plan it to be. There are too many external factors or unforeseen circumstances that will plague our way throughout the year and we will just come to the decision to just take things as they come and make the best out of it.

Throughout the 23 years that passed me by, I have learnt so much just by the company that I am with. Even in this blog itself, so many things revolving around my life have been documented, from my love life, to the failing of my love life, from friends getting married, to friends falling out, from celebrations to the mourning of my grandma's departure from us. I started this blog in 2005 and I don't even remember when the exact date was ( I know that I can check from the date of my first published post but I am lazy), and now, 2 years already passed me by. Maybe 1 year half because I remember that it was somewhen in June or July that I started writing. By comparison, many blogs have already become so damn famous but being a blog where only my friends will view, I am content that you guys still come and pay this blog a visit once in a while. This is where I share the happenings of my life, the ups and downs and the lefts and rights. This blog has opened myself to criticism and verbal bashing one too many times but at the end of the day, those are all words of advice from my friends, telling me to be a man, telling me not to be a whining bitch, telling me that my temper is like the goddess of mercy when she just woke up and found out that her magical water lily transport has been stolen, ( in short, it means that my temper sucks big time) ( Goddess of Mercy is a figure in Buddhism teaching who goes around helping people while staying afloat a gigantic water lily).

This post does not have a specific purpose but I just wish to thank everyone who has stayed with me through all these times. Be it through my blog or staying by my side. I thank you. And it is also one of my new resolutions to forgive and forget everything that has happened. Thank you once again.

Next post, my trip to Hong Kong. There is nothing special about it so lets just forget about that crap. Bye bye

Moving on to 2007

It is inevitable that the feeling repeats itself each and every new year. The feeling of "Oh my God, another year passed when last year's Chinese New Year was just like yesterday. I could still taste the after-taste of vomit from having too much alcohol in Cindy's house last year February".
Time is something that we cannot buy back and through the passing of time, we are bound to make many mistakes along the way and maybe even hold a certain number of regrets. Turning back time is impossible and thus the only thing that you can do is make up for it and learn. Learn to not make the same mistakes again, learn to appreciate, learn to drive like a sane human being, learn not to want everyone who pissed me off dead and lying in a gutter somewhere with monkeys masturbating and ejaculating on their face just to make them feel lower than they already are, learn to keep friends, make friends and turn enemies into friends. So many things that we can learn but whilst doing that, we should also learn to realise, repent and of course re-evaluate ourselves.

For me, I strive to be better than last year and hope that next year will be better than this year but there are many things that I can only work hard for and many unseen circumstances that I am sure will prove to be a barrier to me but I take that all in great stride.

Fuck it, writing serious matters has never been my forte and I do not pride myself as being a gifted writer but it has always been my platform to say what I wish to say and vent whatever feelings that I wish to vent. My blog will go on running as long as I have feelings, or until something stops me from blogging. I do not know my purpose of writing this post actually but I guess it's due to the reason that I have not updated for sometime and I kinda miss the feeling of people scrutinizing my writing and my life. Well, not many people actually scrutinize my writing but my life thus far has gathered enough opinions and feedbacks to allow myself to label myself under the many unpleasant adjectives that you can come across for a guy.
Ladies, Gentlemen and those in between, presenting to you, the top 10 adjectives that stuck on to Charles since 2006 and all which are based on true events:
1) Player (I know its more of a noun but shut up)
2) Jerk
3) Selfish (One of my favourite)
4) Hot tempered
5) Fat (Another favourite that pisses me off)
6) Flirtatious
7) Ungrateful
8) Disloyal
9) Forgetful (As in forget friends when I am attached and this always ticks me off)
10) FUCKING GOOD LOOKING

I added the last one because I could not find a positive adjective that people used to describe me. This is all too disheartening and maybe it is true. Maybe it is all true that in the eyes of many, I am someone who is like that, who fits the first 9 adjectives above and people will also call me a liar because of adjective number 10. Well, it is a good thing that I learned not to care what people think of me anymore because I don't even want to know how they judge me because I am so fucking sure that most of it will not be positive stuff.

Anyways, I would like to take this chance to wish everyone a Happy New Year if I did not already have because I am lazy to check my previous post and indeed if I already did, then just stuff this down your throat. I would also like to say sorry to everyone that I have offended and just want you guys to know that I am trying to improve on all my short-comings. I would also like to entend a big, warm, sincere FUCK YOU to those who offended me and did not bother to apologise to me but being the "great guy" that I am, I will try to find it in my heart to forgive you. Unless I don't feel like it then you will have to beg me for forgiveness and I will look down upon you, spit into your eyes, stab a pen through your throat and stuff a car-jack through your asshole and start to tear it apart.

My favourite part of this post.... yeah.... New Year's Resolutions:
1) Change the top 10 adjectives decribing me to positive ones.
2) Try number 1 again and again if it fails again and again.
3) Limit Caffeine intake
4) Limit Nicotine intake
5) Limit Alcohol intake
6) Remember number 3 to 5


Happy New Year everyone.... there, another one to stuff it down your throat.

Happy New Year 2007

This is my first entry in the year 2007 and my year did not start out well. On the first of January 2007, my Grandma passed away and it dealt a great blow to everyone who was close to her. She was 76 when the clock struck 12, when the fireworks lighted the skies and people scream about shouting "Happy New Year" while exchanging hugs and kisses, while some others exchanged blows and punches. Not a good way to start off a new year but in time, we have all come to realise that it was actually better for her as her health was constantly deteriorating and often in pain. At least now she seems serene and tranquil.

She has always been the great grandma that everyone knew. She got along with my friends, my girlfriends, my brothers' girlfriends and friends and everyone who stepped foot in my place, she greeted them with a smile. On the day she departed, many weren't there with her during her last minutes besides my parents and a few aunts. My mum fell asleep around 1.30am when my Grandma was still alright and then it was at 2.00am that my mum got a message from my brother in Australia that woke her up, which was also when she realised that my Grandma was no longer breathing. I was in a club at that time and when my phone rang with 'papa' (my dad) on my screen, I knew that something was amiss. I answered and then I hung up and suddenly it all kicked in. I called my dad again to reconfirm the news and then rushed back home. Many were already there, uncles, aunts, cousins, as I stumbled into my house like a fucking drunkard, trying my best not to cry. I went straight to bed. It was all I could do. I went straight to bed.

One whole week passed after her demise and she is still sorely missed and always thought of. Many came to pay her a last respect and for that I thank you guys. Should there really be a heaven, I am sure she's there. I have seen many tears during the funeral and many self-induced tears at the same time but nonetheless, she is loved by many and even though some may be insincere, being the great person that she was, I am sure that she will forgive.

Goodbye my dearest popo. I know now that you are in a better place without sickness or pain. Please watch over us and bless everyone with happiness like you always did. I never had the chance to say this to you before and although it is all too late, I love you.