THE MAN, The Man, The Boy, The Girl, the girl and the pussy

The past few days have been a little more crazy than I have expected it to be. I had to be the driver of a few of my dad's Japanese friends as they came in six, me being the chauffer for three and my dad another three. They are actually quite a funny bunch, being amazed at many things that we take so much for granted like barbequed pork ( char siu) and mango sago (sai mai lou). Getting along with them was not a problem at all, that is until they spoke to me. A couple of them have the basic command of the english language but the rest of them spoke in a hybrid of Japanese and their so called english which to me, I just don't get it. They would talk and laugh and I would just nod and just all of a sudden say, "Sumimasen, watashiwa wakarimasen" which loosely means, "sorry, I do not understand", and they will try talking to me in English which is not even english and I would just have to nod or pretend to laugh when they laugh. I stayed up late for many nights just to accompany them as they are our guests and so the least I could do is show them how hospitable Malaysians are.

My Grandma's condition is not improving and the only thing that I can hope for is that it is not going to be any worse than it already is. She is looking a little better now as she has regained a little of her appetite and energy.

Last Saturday, Meng, Darrell, Amber, Cindy, Chee Leong and I was at the fun fair near One-Utama and we were on a few of the rides. Amber was afraid and we can forgive her as she did not go on any of them because she comes across to me as this sweet little girl who is learning so hard to be a funny-woman. Chee Leong did not go on any of the rides as well and of course we can all forgive him because he is also a sweet little girl who looks funny. Minus the two girls, me, Meng, Darrell and Cindy went on the gravity defying rides which made us scream and our hair looks like......shit. Anyway, four of us were on three rides and it finally came to the last one and it was then that Meng and Darrell pulled out. Looks like there were only two men left in the group, Cindy and me. I queued up for the tickets and the went for the ride. The ride is something like two crescents being side by side and it will swing in opposite directions.....360 degrees and at 180 degrees (which means that you will be hanging upside down), they will even leave you hanging there for a while before it continues. So there we were, two men on the front seat, wanting the best view and excitement, we chose not to be like the other wimps who do not dare to be in front. We chatted for a little because we had to wait around ten minutes before the ride started, and it was then I found out from Cindy that she almost fell asleep on the first ride because the wind blowing on her face was really comfortable!!! The first ride was a circle where everyone will be facing each other and it will be spinning... while swinging to more than 90 degrees on each side so it is something like a spinning pendulum but swinging very high up instead. I broke a sweat. How could she be so calm? The ride started. Halfway up, I felt no fear but screamed to create the atmosphere and the higher it goes, the weaker my knees got. Then I lost it. I was screaming like an idiot because the ride really scared the shit out of me and it was when I was hanging upside down, Cindy turned to look at me and asked, “Are you screaming for fun or are you really scared?” Her voice was almost monotone and serene. I was shocked for a little while, not for the fact that she is not afraid at all, not for the fact that she could talk to me calmly, but for the fact that she could be all that and asked me when I was freaking hanging upside down. Conclusion, Cindy is the MAN.

Next post... pictures from Taiwan.

Just a few days..... it can make or break

I just came back from Taiwan and everything was fine until I saw my grandma... she looks much worse than before I left. In the 5 days that I did not see her, she has grown so weak and now needs to use a wheelchair. She can't eat and can't stand without anyone supporting her. I pray. I pray for her. I do not know how to feel now... I can see that she is suffering. A part of me does not want her to go but a part of me does not want to see her suffer. She don't even have the energy to speak to me. I went back during my lunch break to see her and bought back some food and desserts. She is so frail. I don't know what to hope for anymore.

It has been some time since I last wrote. Work is beginning to pile up and my life is pretty pre-occupied with worrying both about work and personal issues. I just came back from Singapore yesterday and my trip there was great. There was so much that I did and like every visit to our small neighbouring country, Richard, our partner in Singapore provided us with the best of Singaporean hospitality. Brought us to none but the best restaurants in Singapore and there was this Restaurant called Mezzanine in Hyatt where almost every staff there knows him by his first name. Started off from the office at 6.45, I drove with one of my Directors all the way down to Singapore, we took turns of course because the haze seriously fucked up my health. I have difficulty breathing and constant dry cough. It was really bad but the condition in KL is considerably much better as compared to Singapore. The haze in Singapore is scary and when I say scary, I mean that I can look directly at the sun from my 12th floor hotel room without hurting my eye. My nose and throat suffered the most but luckily, there are many girls in Singapore which soothed my eyes. We were at the restaurant in Hyatt and this gorgeous girl walked past and sat behind me. I told Richard that his country is blessed with so many beautiful creatures which is made up with 2 Xs in their chromosomes and he said this, “You were talking about the girl behind you? She is ex- Miss Singapore.” No wonder lar.

On the way back, we passed the customs in JB and Malaysians are people who, and I dare to proudly declare, trust people with all their hearts. We were queuing up at the green lane and we just went past because there was no one there at all. No one even bothered to check the 27kgs of C4 and the 63kgs of heroine that I had in my trunk. How convenient and how silly of me to even have taken all the effort to hide them in the carcass of a dead donkey. We stopped by The Undershop in City Square JB and the place is seriously like ROJAK ( A dish with many things all mixed together with black sauce and peanut). We then moved on to Malacca where we stopped at Pahlawan Mall where we parked by the roadside and went in to have a look at The Undershop there. It was beautiful. The Interior Design is all different and looks so much classier. After the short stroll, we drove off only to find a fucking SAMAN stuck to my windscreen. SIGH…. Company pay, nevermind. I took some pictures, will load them up next time.

Reached back to KL about 8 plus and bumped into my mum on my way up to the house and she had tears in her eyes. I already guessed what happened as my brother called me from Australia earlier when I was still in Malacca. He told me that my grandma is diagnosed with cancer and is in critical stage but I was optimistic until I reached home and saw the hopelessness in my mum’s eyes. I knew then that things are serious and she told me that my grandma was on morphine and the hospitals do not want to admit her because there was nothing they can do. My heart was shattered instantly. I drove my mum and aunt out to get her a new mattress as she complained that the one she was sleeping on was not comfortable anymore. Many thoughts ran through my mind and I just cried. I was not that close to her anymore because I felt that she loved some of my cousins more than me as she seldom sides me when arguments break out. Now the thought of losing her just pains me. We bought a new house and it is due to be completed in 2008 and we even reserved the room downstairs (which I initially want) for her. I want her to be able to stay there. I want her to enjoy life that we will be able to provide her with. I want her to experience the filial piety from her daughters and her grand-children that his son could never give her in a million years. I will be leaving to Taiwan on Monday. I am afraid that things might go wrong. What if I am not here? If there is a God, Please show me a miracle and I will profess all my trust in you.

My Dear Brother in Australia

It has been a long time since my brother, Reagan, left for Australia the Land Down Under. Since the day he left, the house felt empty and honestly, it felt more spacious. If you read my brother's blog, you will actually notice that he always refer to me as being fat. I have to admit that I have put on a lot of weight since I left for Australia and up until now, I am still trying to lose it. I go to the gym almost everyday now and I have minimal carbs intake. He recently sent a letter home and with anticipation, I ran to my mum's room to get hold of it, and along with it were pictures. I read the letter and I could almost hear his voice reading out those words in my ear and then I looked at the picture. It was him alright, it was Reagan, smiling so beamingly that the message was clear, he was so happy there and enjoying every moment of it. Everything floods back into my mind but there was something bugging me. Something was wrong and something was not in place. It was the picture. Finally I realised. He told us that he lost weight, maybe he did lose weight but he somehow managed to grow bigger... I do not know how he did it but there might be a clue at the end.

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Behold the reason

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