word of care

This is actually the second post that I am writing tonight. Somehow something happened and I got disconnected and when I reconnected and tried to publish the post, I was sent to an error page and when I returned to the previous page, everything was bloody gone. It alright, it’s a good thing that throughout the night I have been listening to ballads. And that’s not gay.

Ever wonder how the slightest gesture to show you care would just make someone light up and feel alive again? This afternoon, while I was waiting outside my car, a lady in her early twenties came to me and mumbled something while staring at her hand, totally ignoring the fact that she could possibly be talking to a good looking guy. I am not saying that I am good looking but on a scale of 1 to 10, a friend of mine rated me 5. I rated myself 11. Before I had a chance to say anything, she said thanks and turned away. I tapped her shoulder and asked her what it was she wanted to say and she looked at me, surprised, either because I look too dashing or just because I even bothered asking. She told me she’s from Seremban and hopes to collect funds for this hospital and started showing me pictures of her with nurses, with patients, with doctors. She showed me a list and I saw a few names and the amount donated was RM15. I asked her why it was mostly 15 bucks and she told me that they are actually selling those decorations stuff for 15 bucks and so I made a contribution. I witnessed the difference that I made her feel right there and then. She came to me expecting me to brush her off and so she walked away but because I took the time and effort to ask, she left feeling surprised and happy. I can guess that she has been rejected numerous times and that is why she is feeling so down and dejected. I somehow understood how she felt and I pitied her. I admit that I do not really trust in these kinds of things as I have always thought of them as a hoax to con good Samaritans like me. I know that my contribution would not make a mountain of a difference but I know that it has light up the spirit of that person.

Someone told me something that I do not believe that I have heard before, at least not that I can remember. She told me that I was boring. That statement greeted me like a stranger waving at me saying hello in the middle of a busy street, making me confused, unsure but forced to acknowledge. I tried very hard to comprehend the new tag that was pinned onto my back. I have always been very talkative but what happened? I finally realized that the answer was just an easy equation. I have told her that her smile was infectious but it just seems like it was more than her smile that determine how I felt. Seeing her sad and down and worn out just made me feel like there was nothing I could do to help and that made me feel like there was nothing I could do. That kind of feeling affected my mood in a way where I felt unhappy and therefore kept silent and thus the tag: boring. The cure? The cure is to see her cheer up and that somehow put a smile on my face. It is funny how you can’t be in control of your own emotions but others that matters can.

You and I have the power and ability to determine how a person feels be it your family, your special someone, your friends or even a girl that is trying to raise funds for a hospital. Some people are blessed with the ability to say the right things at the right time and at the right place. Some are gifted with the skills to manipulate words so that everything that comes out from them sounds as if they have been dipped in honey. There are those who are dead direct and give it to your face, the type who does not beat around the bush. Last but not least, there are also those who says things to make you feel bad, to aggravate you, to provoke you, to tease you, summary, to make you feel lower than you are. These people are categorized into two sub-categories. Those who really mean what they say just to hurt you are called: assholes. Those who say those kind of things just in the name of fun and means no harm, I label them as “Yiu Sam Yiu Fai”. This “Yiu Sam Yiu Fai” species will say things to make you feel so “kek sam” (aggravated) that you would feel like vomiting blood. I have had direct confrontation with this kind and just because I do not want to repaint anywhere with my blood, I practiced an ability called tolerance. The good thing about this species is that when they do finally say something nice and sweet to you, you know that it means so much that you would be carrying that feeling for a long time. You know that you have done something right to deserve it.

This does not mean that everyone should evolve themselves to become the Yiu Sam Yiu Fai species just to make the praises more meaningful. Words of encouragement, kindness and love will be appreciated no matter where and when. Furthermore, its good karma and what goes around comes around.

Bounce Back

There is this particularly funny feeling that one will get when you encounter a situation where, when you think that you are at the lowest, something just happens and lifts you up. This kind of feeling has enormous power to make you feel the extreme pleasure of finally suceeding. Its like swimming in the medley relay. You are leading by so much that the champagne is already in the proccess of being chilled. You being the last swimmer of four, witness your third swimmer suddenly struck by epilepsy and start to struggle and everyone else overtakes. You feel the world tumbling down and everything seems dark. The bannner of "Congratulations on being the Champs again!" has been changed to "First from the bottom is still First!". All of a sudden, you see all the remaining teams' last swimmers all got struck by stroke and struck by heart attack and struck by falling toilet seats from the plane above and so on and so forth. You light up, dive, swim, overtake the drowning bodies and get the medal. Victory will not be glorious or smooth flowing but winning is winning.

Having four hours of sleep is not doing any good for my complexion. Dryness of skin, blemishes and shits like that.... I think I need SKII miracle water, something like what soccer players use when they are injured. Apply a little and you see them running again. Getting so little sleep does have its shits but if you get more in return, then who cares.

Few days ago, I had my hair cut in Times Square. Let me give you the details of the whole proccess. It was already almost 8 when I was there. The lady there asked me to take off my glasses so that she could wash my hair, alright why not, it was in the package anyway. After towel drying my hair, a lady said that she would be the one who will be giving me new look. Being extremely short sighted, I did not get a good view of her. We were chatting and talking about anything and she told me she was 36.... WOW!!! 36 and she still looks radiant and young.... out of the blue and all of a sudden she said.." You know, people like us who went through sex change...." I was stunned but kept my composure. That was my first encounter with a transvestite...better known as Ah Kua. I am not homophobic but getting my hair harrassed by him/her is rather uncomfortable... she has really soft and smooth hands. YUCKS! Anyone interested, gimme a call and I will try to hook you up.

Initial D has been out for a good few days now but I still did not get the chance to watch it yet. Speaking of which, there is this friend of mine called Wern Shen, I introduced him to the world of mountain pass racing arcade called Initial D and he could never get near me... that was until this year when he showed me that he did practice, and he practiced well. Our level are of not the same level anymore... he is a level above now. Enough of that, I don't like to get beaten.

Alright, I think that's all for now.... will be posting soon.

My First Post

Hmmm..... My first post in my very own blog.... I guess that this seems like a good idea since I am now without a job and I would like to thank the racist $%^&* who fired me for reasons that I would not disclose although it is no secret to many of my friends. Was supposed to go for a drink with my friends tonight but since I got back late from dinner, so what the hell. The past few days has been some sort of a scary mixture or fun and turmoil for me: mixed emotions like when you are feeling so so so bloody hungry but you feel like you have to unload a vast amount of unwanted processed food from lunch. Good times bad times that kinda shit.

Have you ever had the feeling of pure satisfaction for one night but only to know that on the next day, things would return to as it was? The feeling is something like having strawberry cheesecake ice-cream from Baskin Robbins one night but knowing that you would have to go back to eating some strawberry ice-cream from Walls or Magnolia the next day. The kind of feeling is so scarily addictive, the reason for the extreme craving is still under heavy research but as of so far, I have not come up with any thesis yet.

I just realised that my car is in a total mess today and I decided to take matters into hand and clean out the car. With the thought still raging back and forth my mind like how people would play tennis if the ball was replaced with a dynamite with a burning 3 inch fuse, I fell asleep. I woke up with guilt but as they say, life goes on.

Well, I guess that would be enough for tonight and really looking forward to share whatever that comes to my mind with whoever. There will be many more posts to come and the day that this blog is not frequently updated, it means that I have got a job.

p/s: If by any chance the guy at the round-about that I almost collided with is reading this, I would just like to tell you that I will bloody ram my car into your bloody vehicle if you were not driving a trailer. Ass.