Bottoms of many bottles; Candles on a cake

I was asked a few times by a few people on how it felt turning 25. To be very honest, I felt nothing. It was just another day, another weekends full of drinks and crazy antics. My initial thought was that I would be in a more somber mood reaching that quarter century mark but it felt different. I felt energized as if I am moving on to a new phase of my life. I am now officially in my mid-20s and it feels as if I am officially an adult. I have no i
dea how that benchmark came along but I guess that's just the way I feel. My birthday this year felt great as there were many friends celebrating with me and I am sorry I could not invite everyone as there was a max number of people that 8 bottles could bring in. We were in Italiannies earlier for dinner as I very well know what the consequences are for me drinking on an empty stomach. Dinner was great with a few people, mainly telling me how I am gonna be fucked and also how my four appointed Guardian Angels a.k.a Substitute drinker would betray me. Yes, they did betray me. I celebrated it in Scarlet and by 10pm, I was already there. My 3 tables were empty and it did feel a little weird but people started pouring in by 11pm. The bottles of Henessy were diminishing one by one and then crazy people began doing crazy things. Some bought flaming and some bought graveyard and its not usual for me to decline drinks but those were poisons. It was scary even by my standards, which by the way, is not that high. There were endless birthday toasts and drinks were even forced down my throat at some point and that was done by one of my appointed guardian. The night was fun with many many crazy things happening.
I have this minor problem. When I am drunk, I will not know what happens and I will go around kissing everyone and this condition is not even sex biased. When I say I kiss everyone, it means girls and guys. I wish I could control this behaviour but apparently I can't. Controlling it in the sense that I will only kiss the girls and not stop kissing altogether. Many pictures were taken and some were a little weirder than the rest. Most of my friends are used to pictures with my tongue sticking out so that is nothing new. I won't upload those pictures here and if you guys are interested, those pictures will be in my facebook account. So until then, thank you all for your wishes and take care.

Cheers!

北京欢迎你

The auspicious date of 08.08.08 draws near and like many, I'm excited, not only because of the sporting event, but because of how far China has come since they broke free of communism.

WOW... I uploaded this before the 8th and now only it is uploaded.

Today, I fell

I have always been someone who is sure of what I want and how I would get it. Lately at least. My confidence in myself and my capabilities is utmost but today, I failed. I have always hated the feeling of losing and this time around, I screwed up so bad that I felt that my ego imploded on me. I felt afraid, the feeling that have been long absent from my life. It feels as if many people would rejoice while reading this post, do not ask me why, it's just a feeling that I have. Many people would love to see me fall from the throne high up that I built for myself, thinking of myself as someone irreplaceable. I have never thought of myself as invincible, just someone who will not taste defeat. That would be my ego speaking and probably, I should be the one laughing at myself. I have fallen many times in the past and I thought that I would have been more cautious. How wrong I was. I hate this feeling we call fear. I hate having to admit that I have done something wrong but I guess that there is no one to blame. Have you ever had the feeling that you are so sure that you are doing things right but just falls down flat on your face? Well, not so high and mighty now are we?

I miscalculated and it costs me. Well, maybe this will keep me in check. This will tell me that I am just like everyone out there. Imperfect. All of a sudden, everything around me became quiet and the only thing that I could see was my mistake and the only thing I could hear was myself cursing at my ignorance and stupidity. Well, I have held great hands of cards that life have dealt me, I guess I should not complain when dealt one poor round. The only thing is, my bet this time was big.

It's funny isn't it, that even until now I would not share the details of the mistake that I have committed, with the fear of being ridiculed and laughed at. I wish to be angry but my anger could only be channeled towards myself. Damn. If only. Damn.