Toilets, Shits and a Dead Bird

Well, this post will consist of many random stuff cos:

1) I am kinda bored, although busy but bored since everyone is out for lunch.
2) My lunch partner is late.
3) I have read all the blogs that I usually read.
4) I have no idea what to write in this entry.
5) I just took a picture in the toilet that I wanted to share.

So here goes. Today has been kinda slow and I am gonna have my Mandarin exam today. I have no freaking idea why I am so calm when I should be panicking because I did not study at all for it. In short, I am fucked.

Anyways...



This picture was taken just taken a just a few hours ago after I have finished with my business. I have no idea why but I have been visiting the loo a lot lately. I used to have this bad habit where after every meal, I must go to the toilet to unload a huge pile of...... ok, let's not go into that, but I do remember that a cousin of my friend once said that I should eat while sitting in the toilet so that it would be easier for me. The sign is crystal clear. It is a toilet meant for the executive but seriously, nowadays, almost everyone are executives. Marketing exec, sales exec, admin exec, HR exec... hahaha so, in short, it is a public toilet. They fucking lock the door to this toilet and only those "Big-Shots" have the key to this toilet. Like what the fuck? What makes it so bloody special? Do they have someone in there to help hold your member when you are taking a piss, then use a wet tissue to help you wipe it clean, a facial tissue to help you dry it and then help you to do some much needed trimming? Imagine this, after taking a crap, they will help you wipe and wash and the powder your ass for you. Someone will be in there with a guitar or violin to enhance your experience when you are sitting on the throne and starts singing "Please release me let me go..." Sigh...

Another news that made the headlines was the Avian flu. Well, seems like not many people are backing away from consuming chicken. KFC near my work place is still packed. Chicken rice near my house had an increase in price. Hold on, I think that is due to the rising price in oil. Which brings me to another topic. My car, on average, needs 45 litres for a full tank. Since the increase in price ( a total of 30 cents per litre), I have to pay 13 bucks extra for my fuel and at approximately 85 bucks per visit to SHELL ( I have been loyal to them since my first car), I have to spend at least RM425 per month minimum, on petrol. Every bloody thing is rising. Price, standard of living but not my bloody salary. How am I going to get through my 20s with savings? Where am I gonna get the money for my wedding? I need to start winning lotteries, but first, I need to start buying lottery tickets, but before that, I need to earn more money so that I can buy the lottery tickets which puts me back in square one. I need to get coffee. Shit, where am I going to get the extra cash for coffee?


Human beings are very complex creatures and are usually confused and disillusioned by something we call choice. I am sorry but I need to go back to the toilet issue again because I just remembered that I have this picture hehe. Just wanted to share with you guys what the toilet would say if the same bunch of executives are the only people who frequent the Executive toilet. Toilet bowl needs varieties too you know. Ok now, I think I need to get back to working. Think I am gonna go grab a sandwich first. And maybe a coffee. Till next time, take care while I go steal a car and sell it off as scrap metal to fund for my lunch.

Sorhem - Stupid Ham?

I was at the toilet just now attending to some very very urgent matter and something came across my mind, I have not posted for quite some time already and so I guess that I should. I seriously have no idea what I wanna blog about and so the first thing that came to my mind was actually the bunch of friends whom I can label them as "fai". In cantonese, the direct translation would be paralysed or crippled but metaphorically, it does carry the same meaning but it leans towards the paralysis of the brain. In this post, I shall refer to them as sorhem. I have heard a very very famous quote from a chinese movie which did not make it big and I wasted bloody 10 bucks to watch it. The actors were big shots but the movie was big shits. The quote goes like this, (loosely translated to english):

"How do you define our Friendship? The girls that you do not want, I will take. The girls that you want, I will take behind your back. We are called Life and Death Friends"

Sigh, it somehow sounds funnier in cantonese. Anyways, not to cause misunderstanding, I need to clarify that there are my normal good friends and as stated above, my fai good friends. They are those whom I can talk gibberish to and would not give me the "what-the-fuck?" look but instead play along with me and cause havoc. These are the few with whom I can sit and bullshit and then laugh so bloody loud the we sometimes see people from psychiatric wards behaving more sane than us. Them. I am always at my best behaviour. Well, these are the type of people who makes life more colourful and makes a dull day more lively and makes the cake that secret recipe bakes taste sweeter. What the hell??? Ok... I have no idea where that came from but I think that it is actually due to the pain that I am experiencing in my neck and my shoulders which directly affects my ability to think like a normal... well, just affects my ability to think. I just came back from lunch and it is now 5.21pm cos one of the sorhem decided to drop by at around 3.30pm and asked me out for a drink. It was a great plan due to the fact that I have not eaten but he chose the good coffee bad food place that we all warmly call Starbucks. Paid RM13+ for a bloody turkey ham and cheese sandwich and another 6+ for a double espresso. Living beyond my means... SIGH!!! Anyways, three of the sorhem and I was at Sunway Redbox and we had a quarter short of two bottles of Chivas. 1 3/4 bottles of Chivas... 4 guys, 3 to be more accurate cos one of them needed to stay sober to get some going later in the night.
The great things was, maybe this is no great deal to many people but none of us went home wasted except for the girl that came with one of the sorhem thus increasing his chance of getting oh-so-lucky.

THE 3 SORHEM AND ME

You guys may be familiar with Mr. WS on the extreme right and so from the left... Mr. CL and Mr. CY. Those two are brothers, and I suppose that it does not take a rocket scientist to figure it out and they just came back from the U.K.

ME AND ANOTHER SORHEM

And this is Mr. J, another one of the sorhems. Well, that concludes my list of sorhem friends. I have no idea what will happen to me now after this post but if you do see a next post, I am still alive and do not have to call the cops for me.