It's cloudy

I don't even know if anyone even bothers coming back to check anymore. It's been long but it just seems old that I keep repeating the same thing everytime I write my posts, that I have not updated for a very long time. Whatever the reason, I miss doing this. It's as if I am talking to many friends all at the very same time. I used to preach about so many things but now when I try to share, I cannot find anything to say... probably just because I know that I am talking to no one.


If you are there, I am just here to say 'Hello' and hope that all is fine with you.

To fuck (up) or not to fuck (up)

One of these days, we know that we will look back on life and wonder if we made the best out of it. More often than not, we have our bites of regrets here and there, clouded with all those "what if" questions. Waste of time; yes. One should move forward; yes. What's done cannot be undone; yes. That is the whole point, time cannot be turned back and you have to live with every consequences of your every action and decision. On a very personal level, I fucked up countless of times but end of the day, with all the bruises and scars, I learn how not to fall again. 2 parts questions:

1) How do I know I fucked up?
2) How do I know I am not fucking up again?

Fairly simple actually, I know I fucked up because someone or something gets hurt or damaged. Also I have friends who are less than shy to tell me, "Charles, you fucked up.... big time." I love blunt honesty, not that I am a sucker for pain, I just love blunt honesty. The "How do I know I am not fucking up again?" question brings a more constructed answer as everything is progressive, from how I was to how I am. I consider myself smart, this might be the ego talking but it's true, I do consider myself smart and was never shy to admit it. Do not bother asking me to justify or give you 10 good reasons why I think so because, I am not even going to explain why I do not bother explaining. Back to it, who I was was someone who is who I am today minus the opportunities that have presented themselves to me lately. Opportunities which are life altering. So the question is, can you grasp that opportunity, that one chance that surfaces before it submerge and disappear? I succeeded in catching it and now, we work on it. I missed chances before, that was when I fucked up... I ain't gonna let it repeat, and now I know, at least this time, I'm not fucking up again.

LIFE

...is definitely going to take a turn for the better. You know how life is when you know that somehow you have been preparing for that one big break, that one big thing to happen to you where the whole of your life will be altered. My future will depend on this move, how it will be shaped and molded will depend on what happens through the decisions that we make. I am not talking about marriage ladies and gentleman... I am talking about business that might... it just might, enable me to afford many things that I have only dreamt of getting.

I am going to bankrupt BOSTON with some friends!!

A couple of people here and there did ask me a couple of time now and then as to why my blog has been idle for some time which somehow makes me feel a little unimportant because when I say a couple, I meant one, maybe two at most, or maybe twice by the same person. Well, some of you know why and it's better to keep it that way. So, my dear friends, or the people who still drop by every once in a while, how have you been? It's so nostalgic, those days when my readers weren't just you who were reading but the whole 8 to 10 of you, add one more and we have got ourselves a football team. Times changed, priority changed, circumstances changed and even the way circumcisions are done has also changed and so have I. I realised people around me changing and the good thing about this revelation is that I see everyone changing to better themselves, empowering themselves and realising what a fuck nut they had been and what a fuck nut they had been hanging around with me. For the latter, I hope that they would remain that fuck nut that have helped me through so much and maybe at times, used my shoulder excessively to dry their tears, used me to vent their anger and the latest addition, hitting me when I look at her suggestively while laughing to herself. Girls are hard to fathom.


What happened of late? Just some updates. Kicked back some absinthe at an event and am pretty sure gonna be kicking back somemore tonight at the launch of the event. 68% of liver destroying alcohol level, sugar cube drenched with the sinful poison and then burned and consumed. 3 simple steps to meeting that little green fairy. If by then you do not see her, you repeat that 3 steps until you do... or pass out, which then you should try again when you awaken. Last Friday, after work, I proceeded to BOSTON@Solaris to attack the Tigers. You see, BOSTON has this promotion where the first bottle will set you back RM23 but the subsequent bottles will only costs 50 cents each. I had 10 and Werny Boy had a dozen. In all fairness, he was there earlier than me and so had a head start. Lasting only from 6 - 9 pm, we had about 4 more jugs after the promotion ended with Shel, Stephen (SPF) and Lola.

Just last Saturday, we were in Cafe Cafe to celebrate a friend's brithday and the food there was great with a beautiful ambience. Foie Gras there was one of the best I had in Malaysia. The price did drain my cash but I'm not trying to say that they are expensive, it's just that I ordered the expensive stuff. It was worth it though.

I will be in Krabi for a short holiday soon... sun, sea and beaches... ahhh. I wonder how much I will miss civilization. Hopefully I will be able to organise another rafting session again, this time with the girls. Well my friends, I guess that's about it.

Au Revoir.


p/s: During one event, there were actually 2 people who thought that I was gay... WHAT??



I have no idea how that came about and that was the first time they saw me. Oh well, just so you know, I am still with the same person, hard as it is to believe.

What about it...?

It's been a long time since I last wrote and this is mainly due to the reason that more and more things seem insignificant to me. Events, parties and all that... nothing seem to excite me the way they did before. I missed sharing. But I could hardly find what I wish to share anymore. Through this blog, I know that I will be fucked if I talked about love and relationships, I will be fucked if I talked about politics and my views on the government, I will be fucked if I whined about friends, I will be fucked if I shared my stories of success (just refer to the post before the previous one) and that does not leave me much to talk about. There is also the case where someone checked on my blog, read it and attacked me with it, but this story is too sensitive to post up. With no internet connection at home now, I now have to bring my laptop home, type and save and then only copy, paste and publish.

Enough about the whinings before I get fucked again.
Oh, before I stop, I just wonder why those who stab me does not just let me know who they are, not like I am going to rape their daughters or kill their family, snatch their girlfriend/boyfriend and poison their pets. I just wish to know who feels what about me. That's it.
Furthermore... I am actually quite likeable.

I remember that I shared my life on a daily basis, from my job interviews, to my celebrations of events, down to the day to day happenings that happened to me. They seemed much more blog-worthy before. Not so much anymore. Many things seem funnier before, things that it took to lighten up my day or just brighten up my mood were things of minimal significance to many. I was happier. Not many things brought me down.... but even if they did, a beer with a mate will drown it out. I seem more reluctant to go out now, rather being on my bed, showered and with a book in hand. Well... maybe I am growing up, maybe I am growing old. Who knows.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Well, before the holiday season hits us and get us all drunk and poor (through gambling of course), I would like to wish all of you a Happy Chinese New Year. There are many wishes that I have up my sleeves but since I am wearing short sleeved shirt today, I only have a few of which I can pull out.

Wishing everyone the greatest of fortune and may prosperity shine on you in every way possible earning you great money, great friendships, great career, great sex and all things great.



mucho mucho love,
-Charles Chen-

2 words.......

FUCK YOU