Pointless rant on a Thursday morning
I no longer wake up as Charles, energized and looking forward to the day that lies ahead of me. I now dread reality and having consciousness take over my mind, knowing that there is a fair chance that my day will not be as I expect it to be. There is a certain degree of intrusion to my life that I can take but when there is someone who put their nose right up your ass, demanding to know details of what goes on, that crosses the line. I have never been one to allow myself or anyone else to confine me, make me feel trapped or tied down to a responsibility that I deem inappropriate or maybe just plain stupid. Freedom spells a big part of my life and taking that away or the mere mention of limiting it is enough to make me hate one person... well, apart from my parents, they are the only one who can control me, not because of fear but because of respect.
I grew up in a house where there's always either a grandma or grandpa living with or living near us thus my parents will be taking care of them. It will definitely influence me and my siblings in terms of filial piety and well, all of us turned out OK. We respect our parents and love them a tremendous lot. I guess its good karma on their behalf.
OK back to the topic.
There are people that you respect and there are people that you fear. Very much like how Genghis Khan is respected by his people and Caesar feared. Both powerful, both changed the face of the earth. One conquered lands so vast that his empire spreads from China to India to Russia to Europe, all this and he was only from a nomadic tribe. The other built the ever famous Roman Empire, very much smaller in size but never in drama. The difference here is this, Genghis Khan's empire grew after his death, very much due to Ogedei or Kublai Khan and although the reason for his death is not confirmed, it is said that he died either from injury during battle or from plain fatigue. Caesar as many know, died in the hands of Brutus, his friend, his ally. This is where I am coming from. This is my point. You should earn respect and not fear. You should be someone whom people will seek advice from because they look up to you and not find every chance to escape being in your presence because they fear you. The mere mention of your name will be enough for them to find excuses to hide.
Sometimes, we have to take into consideration of how people would view us. Some call me arrogant, a show off, a person who thinks too highly of himself just because he believes himself to be. Well, to that I say, "Fuck yeah, I do think highly of myself and I deserve every bit of attention that I get." I do work for it. I spend my time networking for it. But besides being viewed as arrogant, I don't think that I am feared (unless you are my girlfriend...maybe). I command, or I hope I do, command a certain amount of respect from my peers. That is how I would love to be remembered. Beneath all the ballooned ego and overblown confidence, I am still the same Charles that you guys know. I still drink and do stupid things and I curse as if it is a part of my vocabulary since I was six, but at the end of the day, I know I have a bunch of friends who are true to me and will not hesitate to lend me a helping hand should I need one.