Happy Chinese New Year
First and foremost, GONG XI FA CAI!!
It's nice to have a celebration where we all get to spend time together and reunite to catch up, gamble, drink and basically have fun isn't it? Every CNY reminds me of how fast each and every year pass and I am already officially in my mid-twenties, 6 months and 2 days more to be exact. It is scary at some point. I see people getting married around me and it made me realise that I am not young anymore. I never expect myself to be grown up so quickly and I am somehow not ready to accept this stage of life. I am no longer a kid and having fun starts having boundaries. There is the image issue that I have to keep such as not being pissed drunk and acting stupid like how I always have been. Things that I say now carry more weight as being young can no longer justify my stupid and ignorant acts. I am somehow scared. Being mature in thinking is one thing and being ready is another. Being 21 feels like yesterday. Being 25 is not old but it does mean that we have to be older in terms of thinking and living our lives. I have a rough idea of how I wish to pursue the things that I look for in life and I have a specific goal that I wish to achieve. In terms of work, I guess that I have grown and am able to handle many things thrown at me. After all, I handle the whole advertising and promotions deoartment myself. I am more capable in my negotiation skills and my PR skills prove to be admirable at some point. It pleases me even more to see that my friends are also achieving great heights and it makes me feel that I am not there yet. Sure, getting some form of recognition does make me feel that I am at least doing my job right but growing up means that I have to be better than who I already am and having myself as my biggest challenger, cocky as it may sound, seems difficult.
I have friends running their own businesses and doing very well. I have a friend who is a pilot, earning good money. A friend being a senior writer who is recognised in his industry. A friend who is an art director for magazines at the age of only 26. I am actually not at great heights compared to where they are in their respective industry and sometimes it does make me feel
that I am not good enough. Pale in comparison no matter how smart I pride myself to be. I have a knack for praising myself from time to time. It may be a sign of insecurity, it may be a sign of self-confidence, it's not up to me to judge but if I am really that smart, why am I only at where I am now? Damn... this post ios getting depressing. I need coffee.
posted by Charles @ 11:08 AM
1 people kicks ass
