99 candles on my blogday cake

In conjunction with the celebration of my 99th post before I hit the three figure bubble, I would like to talk about somethig very general. Life. I know that it may sound boring and bland and so this is a good time to leave this page if you have no time for nonsensical debauchery. Life for me thus far, I must say, have been good and I am grateful for that. It feels like New Year's eve, somewhat as if I have things to say or do before the clock strikes 12 and marks a whole new beginning. In this episode of my life, that could not be further from the truth. There are decisions and choices that I would have to make and changes that I will have to adhere to, be it from myself of from those around me.

Back when I was in high school, up until secondary 4, I have always been the bullied one and I was always patient. I never threw a tantrum at anyone besides that one time when I swung an atlas across someone's face. When we were young, things were so much simpler. We were like a piece of wet clay waiting to be moulded. I remember that there was this once when in secondary 2, Faridz, Martin and I saved a dollar a day in a plastic container, hoping to save enough to go for a holiday at the end of the year. We were young and had funny dreams. Some idiot then broke into my locker and took everything and he even sabotaged my Kemahiran Hidup project. I was pissed but I was still calm.

Secondary 5 forced me to live a different life. I did not even recognise who I was at that time. Besides being ridiculously thin at 59kg, my temper was really whacked. I got into so many troubles and I have chased people around the school field with a shoe in my hand just because they complained when I took away THEIR football.
Things got ugly but that was how I met a new bunch of friends. A bunch of friends who will eventually teach me to do many things for the first time. (Sex not included)

College life was a bucket of fun for me and I resumed my character as I was up until secondary 4. I was a nice kid. I was nice to everyone and many people liked me. Life in college was really great for me as I have somehow gotten myself known by many people and I never had a single boring day where I do not know what I should do to fill my time. I was around many friends. Then the unthinkable happened. Rumours went around saying that I stole my buddy's girlfriend. It's a long story but I did nothing behind his back. All I did was something that he could not do. I cared. Everyone then looked at me with scorn and I was really amazed that people can just take things at surface value and judge me. I saw my friends leaving me and only a few was left. One of them was Wern Shen. I was having breakfast with him and another friend one day and they just broke it to me. It was only then I understood why I felt sidelined. Even my high school friend (he's a pilot now), turned his back on me and said that there were people on his table who would want to whack me during prom night. The transition then began. I became the seconday 5 Charles again. This Charles is scary and would spare no one.

I changed again when I went to Australia and I changed for the worse when I am came back to Malaysia when something happened. I do not wish to even mention about it anymore. I have changed for the worse.

The point of all these is just to say that we have the right to choose the path that we wish to follow. We can choose the hands which moulds us. I am glad that everyone that I have came across, at some point in time, crossed my life because it is because of them, I know who I am and who I can be. I know who I want to be. And i know that I can be that better person. I know that I can be that happier person. Some people choose to hide in denial and some people choose to put on a mask and be someone whom they are not. I am unlike them. My friends who know me will know my transition pattern. They would have experienced the greatest tolerance from me and they would have experienced the worst from me.
I want the transition to stop. I want to stay in the good man zone. Fret not, there will be no masks. Just Charles. Just the Charles that everyone knew from the very beginning.

I was having breakfast alone this morning and I overheard a conversation which got me laughing. Everyone, inevitably will make comparisons. Everyone is guilty of that. It is human nature. When we were younger, we will compare everything from grades to height. When we are grown up, we will compare everything from wealth to girth, boyfriends to diametres. I just wish for you guys to know that everyone is different and that is the greatest thing about individuality. We improve each other.
The conversation that I overheard was between 3 Aunties. I will just call them 1,2 and 3. The conversation has been translated from Cantonese to English by yours truly.

1 : Aiyo, your grandson so fat d hor. Never go out Exercise meh?

2 : Yalorr, my grandson arr, everyday play basketball wan arr. He so thin and fit.

1 : My grandson also same lorr. SO many girls call him at night lar. His mother also scold d.

2 : My grandson also larr. Handphone ring non-stop. Talk talk talk dunno got study or not.

1 : (talking to 3) Your grandson so fat not good larr. No people like wan. Next time no girl want.

3 : Aiyo, what to do? My son very successful and get so much money, send my grandson to "Mei Kok" (USA) to study. There arr, I heard very cold. How to go out exercise. He comes back once a year only marr. My son also tell me he and his girlfriend also 2 years together already. I don't really like when I see the picture larr. You know "Kwai Po" (Foreign Ladies) and I next time very hard to talk one marr. She face white white, hair gold gold. Don't know how to say my grandson d larr.

1&2 : ............ ok.

That was seriously the highlight of my day and it did make my whole day a lot happier. That two aunties just got owned big time. Oh well. Post number 100 coming up. Don't hold your breath for it. Because you will die. And when you die, you will not be alive. And when you are not alive you will be dead. And when you are dead, you are no longer alive. Take care all.