This is me

In a lifetime, there will be that someone that comes along and change you. My friend told me that. I wonder if that person changed for the better or the worse. I have done so many wrong things. I have hurt so many. Karma? Maybe. Regret? Yes. Repent? Hopefully. I need to rest. I just feel like going off somewhere and stay away from the world for a while. I need to be alone. I don't even have the energy to lash it all out at a punching bag. Everyone sees me as being fine and all that because I always appear to be happy and all smiles when I meet them. At least I try to. That is who I am. I am born that way. This is where the non-smiling me is. This is where I sulk and this is where I show the bitter and grey side of myself. This is also where I get more people pinning me down and where people come out at random to give me another kick. They can do that. That is who they are. Life needs more variety, some weak, some strong, some nice and some with toes stuck up their ass. I sometimes just wish that, just hope that people may look at things from a different point of view. Maybe I need to do the same.

Some friends are for keeps. They try to understand. They understand that I have my faults but they do ask me why I do what I do. They may not agree but at least they ask. They try to understand me. Maybe emphatize with me. They do not judge me, at least not before they know what happened.

After what happened, others have lost but have I gained? What if I lost the most? Would people know? Very few. Life, as seen through my eyes, still have a long way to go. The question is, will you guys stick out your feet to trip me or would you stick your hand to help me? That was rhetorical.