TLC - Tiny Little Country

I was in Singapore since friday and got back home Monday night. Exhausted is an understatement to describe how I felt after all the driving that I had to endure plus the rain which only made matters worse. It was a good trip all in all. We stayed at a friend's place at Holland Park and a special thanks goes to Charlene for being such a wonderful and accomodating host. Vicky stayed with Charlene in her room and that leaves Wern Shen, Melvin and me to bunk in another. The trip was fun not because Singapore had that much to offer but because all of us are diagnosed with brain damage since the age of 8 and thus making everyone on the trip suffer from mild retardation except for me. I suffer from acute retardation.

The drive down south started around 7.30 pm on a Friday evening and all was smooth flowing. We reached earlier than expected. Charlene was supposed to meet us somewhere as we do not know the way to her place but dumb luck was on our side when all roadsigns led us to her place thus making her effort of getting a cab to meet us at the designated waiting place all in vain. There are not many places in SIngapore that we have not visited before and so we went there to shop and to club and to eat. Ahh yes, it may come as a surprise but going to Singapore to eat? Yes my dear brothers and sisters, boys and girls, friends and anonymouses, there are delightful delicacies that Singapore has to offer.

Crystal Jade was our first stop to fill our stomach after we unloaded our baggages in Charlene's place. We did not order much as we were all too tired and thus depleting our appetite but the little that we had tasted great. One thing that I dislike about Singapore now is that they have very limited smoking places. Yes, you can still smoke in public places but you are not able to smoke at the walkway of restaurants and you can't even light up in pubs or clubs. That aside, one of the more memorable meals was at Carl's Jr in Vivo City. The burgers were almost equivalent to two McChickens put together.... if not more. The first tome I tried it, I could only manage to scoff down half and I was half dead. Not that I was a fag or something but I have a freaking good explanation as to why I could not even finish a burger. Before the meal, we bought loads of food.... ok, I bought loads of food, mainly breads and snacks and marshmallows. We wanted to finish it all off before leaving for dinner. Melvin and Charlene left for Jacky Cheung's concert and so Wern Shen, Gwen, Vicky and I left for Vivo City. During our short game, we played cards where by we will all have two cards each and the person with the lowest number will have to eat a quarter piece of bread... that is until Melvin decided to up the ante and then all hell broke loose. There was a point in time when I had 6 marshmallows in my mouth and the 8 marshmallows right after that. I hate marshmallows. I hate strawberry marhsmallows. I hate stuffing 8 of that shit into my mouth and chewing it all into a pile of mashed up sticky goo and then having to swallow it and have the taste haunt for for the next 8 years. Stepping into Carl's Jr. , we immediately searched for a place to sit and then ordered. I forgot what mine was but it was huge. OK, it was not that huge kinda huge but I could only stuff half of it into my stomach which was already filled with marshmallows and bread. After the first two bites, I thought that it would be a piece of cake and so I was wrong. I was dead wrong. The next day I went and try again. I wanted to conquer that fucking burger. Even if I die choking on it, I had to die knowing that I was not a fag and that I could eat a whole damn fucking burger. The second day, I managed to finish it. (............................................................). I felt like a fucking hero. The blank spot there is something that I am leaving out because it is of no importance. Anyway, I finished it. I am proud.

We then went through Geylang just to have a see look. Saw a hot one and loads of rubbish. Saw a tran dancing by the road side and she-he is lucky that I did not carry a double barrell shotgun in my car because if I did... bottomline is, she-he is alive to torment the minds of more passer-by. After that, we went to Clarke Quay and it was beautiful. I will post up pictures once I have them. Wait for it. We even recorded a ring tone when we were at home. It is good I can promise you that.

Many new things happened to us and one of them was the name given to each of us. First off, we will talk about Wern Shen.
He does not have an english name and so we decided to name him after the names that we saw on roadsigns. Some of them were Keppell, Alexandra, Jurong, Normanton and a few others. We have voted for the name Normanton and thus from today on, he will be known as Normanton.
Melvin, being an ART DIRECTOR now require a more sophisticated name, something in line with the prestige carried by the name Normanton. We came across a roadsign and we decided to call him Jervois, pronounces (jer. vo. a).
Vicky is called Phoenix. She was named after a building or a name on a billboard or something, I can't really remember.
I had two options, both suggested by the four-eyed boy. FYI the 3 guys in the car are all four eyed. Melvin suggested Dragon just to try his luck to get fucked by me. Then he suggested Prince and I guess I am sticking with that and I know that Normanton will oppose with all his might.

Oh well, that's that. Wait for the pictures.... coming to you soon.