TOM CRUISE & MAT REMPIT IN DA HOOD! Co-Starring Thaksin, Pope,Blair and Chen Shui Bian

There are many things in the news lately... what is happening to the world and what is happening in our own backyard? In Thailand, there is the coup where Thaksin (Frank) Sinatra was forced to step down when he was in London. Just goes to show that you don't fucking mess with the king just because he does not have the power to pass the laws or make ammendments to the government policies, he, in the end, still commands the army. And you know you don't go fucking around with the military. They are the people who drives those big ass tanks around at the ravaging speed of 4 billion km/h, crushing everything in their way, except for me of course because all I have to do is extend my palm, catch the tank in my fist and crush it like crushing aluminium tin cans. How can I do that, well, thanks to Fitness First. Nah... I can do that because I am cool. Because I am very very cool. Try to imagine that you go on a holiday or some business functions and suddenly your phone rings... *Tweet Tweet*

Thaksin: Hello, this is Thaksin, the Prime Minister of Thailand speaking.
Anonymous : Yo... what up? Just wanna holler ya to tell ya that yer house is surrounded by tanks yo! Peace out!
Thaksin: ...


In Taiwan, people stage protests in the hundreds of thousands, demanding their president Mr. Chen Shui Bian to step down. There were some counter attack where Mr. Chen's supporters rally to help defend the post of their president but I think many more wants him down. Come to think of it, a few weeks from now, I will be in Taiwan. I wonder if A-Mei or Jay Chow will come welcome me to their native land. I don't particularly take a side but my mum always taught me one thing since young. When you see a scene where there will be a possibility that the whole scenario turns into something like Young & Dangerous, stick to the group with more people because with unity, you have strength... and a higher chance of survival of course. So, I am sorry Mr. Chen Shui Bian.

DISCLAIMER: MR. CHEN SHUI BIAN IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO ME BUT I AM SOMEHOW RELATED TO GEORGE W BUSH. YOU OFFEND ME, YOU OFFEND HIM AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE LIKES TO DO WHEN HE IS PISSED. HE BOMBS COUNTRIES AND KILL PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES, JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT.

The pope, the big shot from the Vatican City, said something to piss the muslims off and sometimes when you hold such a high post, being the leader of a religion, the things you say must really go through many proccess of filtration and consideration but I guess he slipped. Anyway, I hope that scenes from the movie 'Kingdom of Heaven' won't happen. Because there will be Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom is gay. He is not cool in Pirates of the Carribean, not cool in Kingdom ofHeaven, not cool in LOTR cos he looks like a girl with limitless supply of arrows who picks on the Midget to bully cos apparently he could kill more monsters just because he has longer hands and legs. Orlando Bloom sucks so much, period. Nah... Orlando Bloom is alright, he just needs to be a little more like me.

Then of course there is the high and mighty Blair from the land which provides you with the people like David Beckham, David Bowie, OASIS and Queen Elizabeth to brighten up our everyday life. This land is called England. They just wants Blair out. Nothing that needs justification there.
Charles : Hello Mr. Tony Blair, who will take your place as the Prime Minister?
Tony Blair: What do you mean 'who will take my place'? Oh shit, you mean I have to step down? I think I will marry Prince William so I can continue ruling.


Tom Cruise had a baby.
Tom Cruise was fired by Paramount Pictures.
Tom Cruise said that the truth was he wanted out from Viacom's Paramount Pictures.
Tom Cruise was fired therefore making Mission Impossible 4 a better movie. (Yes, I know it for a fact even before it is filmed)


Venezuelan President Hugo (BOSS) Chavez said that the President of the United States of America, Tom Cruise a.k.a George W Bush, ordered his assasination due to the reason that BOSS Chavez called him the devil and also stating that Bush a.k.a Tom Cruise, is worse than Hitler. For me personally, that is a very unfair statement. Bush a.k.a Cruise is only worse than Hitler only because he has access to more weapons of mass destruction that he failed to find in Iraq after bombing it into a million pieces. Besides that, Hitler is still more powerful because he is a brave man. Who else would style their moustache that way?

A study was conducted about smoking habits and it was say that people who prefers Menthol cigarettes will find it a lot tougher to quit. That is the main reason why I do not smoke menthol cigarettes, besides the fact that it makes me look like a pussy and also the rumours that it will make you impotent.

Malaysian government said that they are planning to increase the salary of the police force. The reason behind this is to:-
1) Motivate them to have more passion in their work and feel that their efforts are recognized.

2) It will also prove as a deterrent for them to stop corruption, not accepting bribes.
For me, it is simple. I believe that the police force would be able to do much more if they do not hide themselves at road curbs or wait under flyovers, hoping to catch people talking on the phone while driving, making an illegal turn, not wearing their seatbelts, masturbating, reading newspaper, masturbating while reading newspaper, masturbating, reading newspaper and drinking coffee at the same time,... the list goes on. Why not patrol areas prone to snatch theft or find out places that crimes are more likely to take place? How many cases have we read in the papers already? Even handicapped people were not spared. I think the police should really buck up and do what is important, like, their job. Kidnapping cases, murder, bank robberies, people stealing ATM machines.... every crime is on the rise. All these life threatening crimes are going on but sadly, we don't really have the priviledge of reading how those bastards criminal were caught and have their dick pounded on with the officials' 800 dollars baton and then have their 200 dollars button stuffed up their ass.
Baton = RM 800
Button = Rm 200
Mat Rempits being our future leader = priceless

Which now leads me to the 'oh-so-bergaya' Mat Rempit. The government once said that we should not stereotype them because of a few bad apples. I totally agree. There are only a few bad apples but the rest are trash. Government even said that they could be our future leaders. Well, not that my views really count but here goes. They, Mat Rempits, are LAW BREAKERS! They speed, they are dangerous and a hazard on the traffic. I don't give a fuck if they crash and die but please don't endanger peoples' life. When I get my own Tank, I swear to you... I SWEAR THAT I WILL ABIDE THE RULES! Government now say that they will impose higher fines on Mat Rempits. Ok, but why are there still so many of them around. Ohh ya, now I remember, the cops are hiding under the flyover at the round-about trying to catch people wanking while reading the newspaper and drinking Moccha Frappucino.

The government also said that they will penalise those who write inappropriate things in their blog. Merdeka my ass.

I don't even wanna comment on equality of opportunities that the Government keeps ranting about. What a big load of horse .....