How do we path our way?

Have you ever thought about where you would be when you are thirty? How much you would have achieved when you are 35 and how your life would be when you blow the 40th candle on your birthday cake? I would not know how my life would be but I do think about it. I dream about how I wish my life to be when I am there. I dream of what I wish out of my life and the timeline that I set for myself to achieve it. Many people would not view me as someone serious and that I take life one day at a time. Maybe they are right. I do enjoy partying too much to be taken as someone relatively serious. The drinking escapades that I have and the amount of times that I have to be dragged home are not convincing gestures that I have my life planned out. Well, I have had my fair share of criticism but one thing's for sure, I know how I want my life to turn out and I am willing to charge towards that.

I know that everyone once imagined how they wish for their life to be when they are older and already with their family but not many people keep that thought in mind long enough to take the first step to materialise it. I had a very insightful discussion with a friend last night about this topic over my milo ice and his ais kosong. I told him that someone's biggest regret is that when a person does not do something to the best of his ability and not gain what he is supposed to, not get the chance deserved, not improving and not growing. I do understand that sometimes, we are dealt with bad cards and the cards can suck so bad that it makes you feel that you are falling down what seems to be a bottomless pit and it is then you get lost. You lose focus and you lose what it takes to fight on. Many times I have felt that way. May it be betrayal or may it be love, I have fallen so many times and every single time made me hate the world but it is through that that we grow. Through that we learn to stand again and make sure that we do not get hurt by the same circumstance. Some say that I am violent and cruel and that I am not as calm, collected and composed as I was before. Maybe that was the past. That I chose to protect myself by being a bigger asshole than those instigator but again we learn. I have hurt too many in the process and I am now who I am today. I still play hard and I stay out till the wee hours of the mornings but I have my priorities right. I know what I want and I will fight for it. I no longer lash out at the world or drown my pain by ignoring their existence. I no longer sweep my problems under the carpet. Recognitions that I get do not just come to me. I get it by working for it.
It's not easy and I do admit that luck plays a part but that is life. You get dealt bad hands and have shits thrown at you, maybe one after the other, maybe continuously even. But when you persevere, you will get what you deserve. I am not here to preach or think that I am all wise and smart enough to pass down wisdom to anyone. It just pains me to not see that strong person that I used to see anymore. I know that you may be lost a little right now but I hope you will fight through it. If you do, I know you will once more be who you truly can be.

Dear friend, I hope that you get to read this and I wish you the best of luck and you know that I am always here.