sorry

First and foremost, I would just like to say that I am sorry for the last post. It was inconsiderate and also very unthoughtful for those who felt bad reading it. I am now sitting in my room, the sound of traffic behind my apartment is most frustrating, the weather is cold, air is fresh after a downpour, sky is gloomy and it just seems like all the light has faded away. Listening to "Untitled" by Simple Plan only dampens my spirit more. Sometimes I feel that life and irony comes hand in hand. That song was one of my favourite songs and I always felt that it was a fun song to listen to.... until recently. I really felt how much the character in the song was feeling, so bitter and so much frustration. Funnier thing, my playlist is on random and the song playing now, "My baby you" by Marc Anthony. Have you ever felt that sometimes your life is playing a very cruel practical joke on you? You try hard for something, realising that if you go on being too aggressive, you lose out but if you take things easy, you lose out as well. Where is the equilibrium? Makes you feel like a bird braving strong winds, you flap hard and you go foward a few inches but if you stop, you will be blown away. Sad isn't it? Ok, I really feel that the songs playing in my list is getting creepy. I will now state every song that is being played, this one is by Jay Chou, "Kai bu liao Kou" which means unable to express.

You know, sometimes we do feel like we are doing all the right things, saying all the right words, pulling all the right strings but all at the wrong time. ( Leo Ku, Ngoi Yu Seng). Obviously, hard as you try, things does not go your way. You have, through all those times, paved the road, built the bridges and installed pillars to make it easier to reach your goal but because you did all that at the wrong time, you can't seem to reach there. Someone then comes along, walks towards your point of destination, able to catch up with you because everything was prepared for him. All he had to do was stroll along. Unfair isn't it? Well, that's life. (David Tao, Ai Wo Hai Shi Ta: Do you love me or him?) (Utada Hikaru: First Love). One thing I am glad that I know is that once I decide on something, I just look straight and go for it. The road ahead is winding and bumpy, turning you head back will only cause you to go off track and maybe even fall. Think that we should all concentrate on the path ahead, just hope that the further you go, the road is more even and easier to brave. (Celest Chong: Yuen Liang - Forgive). I have learned to understand that people won't feel sad for you if you are sad. I am glad that at least there are some who feel for me, not that I want their sympathy but it just feels great that someone actually cares. (Unknown: Chut Mai - Betray). I am really beginning to feel that life's irony has taken another step forward at me with all the songs being played. I have so many genres of songs in my laptop but, it is just scary. I just received a call from a friend. Is he really a friend.